With Regard To Mrs Bennet
by AnneDouglas
Summary: When Mrs Bennet has a heart attack just over a year before the events of P&P, a widow makes designs on Mr Bennet. But rescue comes in the unlikely form of Charlotte Lucas who realises the potential for disaster said widow would have upon the Bennet family, and offers the most unlikely assistance with far reaching consequences.
1. News Most Tragic

It was a clear day, bright and sunny, the day that Fanny Bennet died. To all who knew her, her death was extremely unexpected but not entirely without reason. The heart attack had taken her suddenly and swiftly. Her complaints of numbness in her arm and dizziness in her head had gone unnoticed by her husband. Thomas Bennet had been married to her for nearly five and twenty years and was well used to her proclamations of ill-used nerves and pain. But dear readers, as I have said there was indeed a reason that Fanny Bennet had an attack of the heart. For the night before there had been an assembly, and instead of the youngest being at home, all the young ladies had attended. Jane, Elizabeth and Mary were well able to conduct themselves with the utmost regard to propriety, and their sister Kitty had almost followed in their footsteps. Though she was not yet admitted to society being still full too young at fifteen, she was allowed a small taste in lieu of her coming out which was to be held on her sixteenth birthday, a concession granted to her despite her elder sisters having had their coming outs at seventeen. But Fanny Bennet was despairing of finding husbands for her daughters in a limited society such as Meryton and so decided to have them all out as quickly as possible in the hopes that some young gentlemen might be overwhelmed by the collective beauty of her daughters and be enticed into marrying one of them which would in turn lead to other gentlemen noticing them.

However, despite being far too young and nowhere near coming out, fourteen year old Lydia had protested most grievously about Kitty being allowed out and not she. For, Lydia had proclaimed, Kitty had attended five assemblies already, and although she had not danced, she had behaved well and therefore why should not she be allowed to attend. For if Kitty could behave well, Lydia could behave five times better. Kitty had cried and protested, but Lydia railed against her father, and her mother, weak against her youngest daughter had joined her side. Thomas had taken the easy road out and after a good five hours of being beset upon by his wife and daughters, he had allowed Lydia to attend provided she did not dance at all. Kitty had cried the whole day until at dinner her father despairing of the peace had allowed her to stand up with her sisters. Therefore the next Assembly, the entirety of the Bennet females set forth, where Kitty conducted herself happily despite a few mishaps where she followed Lydia too freely. However, this was swiftly rectified by the promise of dancing with all her eldest sisters. Thereafter she was a model of propriety and goodness.

The same could not be said for Lydia. Within minutes of Kitty taking up a set with Jane, she had begun to act in the most outrageous way, flirting with every young gentleman in sight regardless of whether or not they were betrothed or married. Such a spectacle she made that her eldest sisters were mortified, and Kitty by dint of being with them was mortified too. She finished a single dance with Jane, who immediately left to try and control the damage Lydia was doing, and Kitty danced thereafter with Lizzy and Mary. But before the hour was up, the four eldest daughters were at their mother's side pleading ill. They returned to Longbourne with much uproar, and Jane was in grievous tears. Mary and Lizzy were holding their own mortification with anger, strongly objecting to Lydia's upsetting of their beloved eldest sister, and Kitty was torn between her longtime companion and her elders who had treated her so kindly and sweetly. When they retired to bed, the four girls were united in Jane and Lizzy's room, where Mary, Lizzy and Jane strongly imparted on Kitty the great danger that Lydia's impropriety could cause to their reputations and thereby their marriage prospects. The danger of it was not lost on Kitty, who retired shortly after and refused to speak to Lydia claiming fatigue.

That Jane, Lizzy and Mary stayed up much later talking was of no consequence to her. But stay up they did, and the discourse between them was serious. For not long ago Jane had refused an offer of marriage made to her via a very bad piece of poetry. Fanny Bennet had seriously impressed on her the stupidity of her actions, and though Jane had cried and protested most strongly, she was left with the knowledge that her marriage chances were not so very great, and despite her beauty, that offer was likely to be one of few that she would receive. Her choices would be rendered much less if it were known that her sisters were outrageous flirts. But nothing could be done until the morning, and so while they planned and argued amongst each other, they let sleep claim them finally. In the morning after breakfast, Jane requested that she speak with her father, and Thomas had an inkling then that something serious was to occur. In his study, he bade his daughter speak freely, and Jane hesitated only a second before informing of what had happened the night before. Throughout her tale, her father stayed silent, and at the end he asked Jane what she wanted him to do. Firmly, yet shyly Jane announced she would withdraw from society until Lydia was curbed. The shocking news impacted her father a good deal more seriously than she expected. The implications of such a move hit Thomas only a few seconds after Jane stated her intention. That Jane felt so strongly on this was an indication of how serious a problem it was. Yet if she withdrew, Lizzy would be forced to follow and Mary. But he knew his daughters too well to believe that Jane had not already gone other this with both Lizzy and Mary.

He stood up abruptly and headed over to his brandy decanter, pouring himself three fingers of the drink and tossing it back silently. Looking at his nervous daughter, he poured a small measure into the glass and handed it to Jane. She was only too quick to quell her nerves by taking the glass and while she initially wrinkled her nose at it, she hastily drained the glass, though she did not toss it back like her father did. Having reinforced themselves, he led Jane out and into the parlour. Calling the attention of all his daughters and his wife, he put forth the matter of Lydia's behaviour and then finished with Jane's ultimatum. Fanny Bennet had shrieked and said Jane could not, to which Jane promptly avowed she would.

"Oh Mr Bennet!" Fanny cried "Surely you cannot mean to let her withdraw! You do not know what our neighbours will say, how they will gossip! How are the girls meant to catch husbands! Oh Jane, you selfish, selfish girl! You will ruin your sisters prospects and all for a night of fun!" Jane began to cry softly, unused to the displeased tone her mother was using against her. Mr Bennet looked at his eldest daughter and felt a hardening in his heart.

"No Fanny, Jane is quite right. Lydia is far too young to be gallivanting about, flirting with married men! I will not have it! Kitty will stay out as she is showing herself to be a sensible girl and not as silly as she used to be. But Lydia will not be allowed out until Jane is at least married and Kitty courting a gentleman I approve of!" At this startling declaration Lydia launched forward protesting vigorously against her punishment and finding herself an enemy in Jane, proceeded to verbally abuse her. Mrs Bennet for all her professed love of Jane was siding with Lydia, and turned on Jane quite meanly.

"Jane, you selfish girl! How could you?! You will never be married and you will become a spinster if you remove yourself from society! All our neighbours will gossip and you will never be able to hold your head up in company! You will not remove yourself, I will not allow it!" She screeched and Jane now crying in earnest looked like she might retract her ultimatum.

"But mamma, I must." She pleaded, sobbing quietly, and Lizzy finally joined her

"And if she removes herself, mamma, I will too."

"And I." Avowed Mary, firmly. Kitty, who had stepped forward to wrap an arm around Jane looked between her eldest sisters uncomfortably.

"And I shall refuse to come out until Mary is married." She said boldly, and then hid herself against Jane, noting that Lizzy seemed to step forward as if to shield them both. Mrs Bennet saw she was beaten soundly, and though she still protested on behalf of Lydia, and railed against her daughters most strongly, her words lacked fire. Lydia's however, did not; and for the next few hours she would lash out at her sisters, particularly Jane and Kitty. Their reproaches meant nothing to her, she saw herself as abominably used, and she refused to let go of her grudge. When this proved fruitless she turned on her mother, who although knowing she was beaten was easily hounded into taking up the fight again. The household saw no peace until dinner-time, when Mr Bennet put his foot down soundly and swore that if Lydia did not behave she would not have her coming out until Kitty was married, and even then only pending on her good behaviour. With such a dismal prospect before her, Lydia was finally silenced, and Mrs Bennet looked up at her husband over the dinner table.

"Well if that's it then Mr Bennet, so be it. But if your daughters never marry and are thrown into the hedgerows it will be on you, not I." She said and sniffed, tucking into her meal with gusto despite her sullen attitude. With the atmosphere somewhat cleared, the meal progressed and conversation began to flow again, broken only by Mrs Bennet commenting about some fluttering in her heart and numbness in her arm. Such comments about her health while generally having more to do with her nerves, were not uncommon, and so Mr Bennet did not look up from his book. It was only until Lizzy looked down the table and noticed her mother clutching her heart and shaking that she raised the alarm.

"Mamma!" She cried and tore herself from her seat to be at her mother's side. Mr Bennet, raised his eyes hastily and noticed in a moment the grey pallor around his wife's face and the terror in her eyes. He too removed himself to her side with all due haste, and the others followed suit, expressing alarm. Jane called for Hill urgently, begging that the apothecary be called. Lydia stared in shock at her mother, her face pale and wary. Kitty was crying already, kneeling at her mother's feet and supporting her. The last thing Fanny Bennet saw and felt before she died was her husband's arms around her and her daughters clustering around her, crying and calling out. The last thing she ever said was a wish that her nerves did not plague her so. What regrets she might have expressed would never be known for she did not say a word as she died, so swift and sudden was her earthly departure, but whatever animosity she may have had between her children and herself died along with her.

Lizzy, her second eldest and most vexing daughter was the first to her side and was earnestly crying and hoping against hope she would live, regretting any disputes and ill feelings she'd ever had against her mother. Mary, the plainest of all the daughters was wringing her hands and crying softly. Jane, her beloved daughter was crying earnestly, her head in her hands and great sobs wracking her body. Kitty had buried her face in Fanny Bennet's skirts, and Lydia. That dear favourite Lydia, who had so recently been a trial, was staring in shock, a single tear sliding down her cheek, and her mouth agape. The tableau was still the same when Mr Jones arrived. He gently removed those who were in his way and examined his patient before pronouncing it a heart attack. Within an hour after he had left, Mr Bennet had Mrs Bennet removed to her chambers, and he retired to his study. Not long after, he heard a hesitant knock on his door. He gruffly bade that person enter, and saw Jane sidle in with a terribly guilty look on her face. She closed the door behind her and then fled to her father's side, kneeling at his feet, promptly buried her face in his thigh and wept.

"Oh papa, did I kill her?! Was I wrong to force the issue?! If I had just ignored Lydia, would Mama have lived?!" She cried, already exhausted from weeping, and Mr Bennet laid a hand on her head, and allowed tears of his own to slide down his cheeks. That she should feel guilty he had anticipated. Jane was all that was sweet and good, but when her mind was made up she was resolute and firm. They were only young, his girls. Too young for such a tragedy, and he tilted Jane's chin to face him.

"No, my little Jane. It wasn't wrong to force the issue. Your mother has been having these complaints for years. I believe her heart must have weakened over time. Anything could have killed her at this my point, my little one. It was not your fault that your sister behaved so ill." He said soothingly, and Jane nodded before buried herself in her father's arms and cried herself to sleep. Mr Bennet quietly tugged the bell-pull nearby, and moments later Mrs Hill entered the room looking at him expectantly.

"Send in Lizzy and Mary." He said, and Mrs Hill nodded gently. When the young ladies entered his study they took note of Jane sleeping against him, and Lizzy; her eyes still wet from weeping looked at her father in some confusion.

"Papa?" She asked quietly, and he looked down at Jane and then back up.

"I will need your help to carry her upstairs Lizzy. Now Mary, be a good girl and go and prepare your sister's bed for her, will you my little lamb?" Mary nodded and disappeared upstairs, and Lizzy came forward to pull Jane against her, allowing her father to rise from his seat. Together they picked her up, Mr Bennet supporting her head and shoulders, and Lizzy at Jane's legs. Slowly, they made their way out into the corridor and the stairs, where Mary ushered them into the shared room, and removed Jane's slippers from her feet before they put her to bed. Lizzy sat herself behind Jane, and began the process of taking her hair down. Mary tucked the covers around her up to her waist, and when Lizzy had pulled out the hair, she put the pins safely away in their customary box. Quietly, Lizzy braided her elder sister's hair, and when they were finished, she managed to loosen Jane's stays. Finally they laid her back against the bed, and Mary put out the candles until one was left, and they retreated from the room to let her sleep. Mr Bennet had already removed himself to the study, and Lizzy put her arm around Mary and began descending to the somewhat chaotic household. They were accosted by Mrs Hill just outside the parlour.

"Begging your pardon, ma'am, but what would you like the staff to do about mourning clothes." Lizzy hesitated and began to defer it to her mamma and then stopped. Longbourne needed a mistress right now, and her mama was dead and Jane was sleeping, therefore by ascendancy the task fell to her as the eldest daughter available. She hesitated for a long moment, and then felt the supporting squeeze that Mary gave her.

"If you have any black cloth make it into arm bands for us all. On the morrow, send some maids into town to acquire some black bolts of cloth and some black ribbons. We must get the black drapes out and change them over. If someone could make up a wreath, I would be most grateful." She said with all the uncertainty of someone who have never expected to manage a household and was completely unprepared. But the reassuring smile that Mrs Hill bestowed on her told her that she had done well.

"Very good ma'am." That good lady replied and then left to carry out her orders. Lizzy and Mary proceeded into the parlour to find Kitty crying as Lydia cornered her. In sharp tones she was informing Kitty that it was all her fault Mama was dead. The hatred and grief lent her an edge over her older sister and she continued in her spiteful diatribe unaware of the shock on her older sisters faces. For a few seconds, Lizzy watched in anger and then she strode over, wrapping a hand around Lydia's arm and pulling her viciously away from Kitty.

"That is enough, Lydia! Shame on you! Our poor mother lies upstairs not even dead for a day and you are out here behaving shamefully and rudely! How dare you accost poor Kitty so?!" She cried, and Lydia wrenched her arm free, glaring up at Lizzy.

"La, Lizzy you cannot tell me what to do. You aren't in charge! Besides it was her fault." She protested and Mary came up.

"Lydia, with Mama dead and Jane asleep, Lizzy is now Mistress of Longbourne until Jane awakens, therefore she has authority over us all. As for it being Kitty's fault, it wasn't she who flirted with married men last night and brought shame on us all." Lydia's mouth dropped and she went to yell at Mary for sermonising, but Kitty joined in.

"You can't misbehave now Lydia! If you do, Lizzy will go to Papa and you know he will listen to her, she is his favourite! I never did anything wrong, it wasn't my fault Mama died." She cried and flounced out the room to go to her room, only to change direction halfway up and she entered Mary's, unequal to going to a room where she knew she would not be wanted. Lydia stared after her in dismay and anger. She knew Kitty was right, Papa would listen to Lizzy, and she stared up at Lizzy hatefully.

"It's all your fault Mama's dead! If you hadn't been so jealous and spiteful you would know there isn't anything wrong with what I did. You're selfish Lizzy, and so are you Mary, and so is Jane! I don't want anything to do with you! I hate you all!" She cried and pushed Mary out of the way, stomping towards the door. Lizzy darted at her and grabbed her arm. Lydia shrieked out a fearful insult and bit Lizzy's hand. Angrily, Lizzy pulled her hand back and soundly slapped her, the noise ricocheting through the room. Lydia, her eyes wide as saucers stared at Lizzy in something akin to fear. Even Mary was shocked. For all her faults, Lizzy had never reacted so badly in anger to anything. For a moment even Lizzy seemed shocked, then she grabbed Lydia with her other hand and shook her violently back and forth.

"Now you listen to me, Lydia Rosemary Bennet! The only person who is at fault here is you! Your stupid, selfish behaviour was embarrassing and disgusting at the Assembly. You mortified all of us, and your behaviour was so abominable everyone else was embarrassed for us! You do not get to accuse Kitty of selfishness when it was you who behaved so terribly! You should have simply accepted your punishment instead of railing against father and us like you did. You riled Mama up and forced her to listen to you, getting on her nerves and assaulting her spirits! If you had have been respectful you would have accepted your punishment and let it drop, but you couldn't. If I ever see you behave like this again, I will drag you before Papa by your ear. Now go to bed!" And she released a now thoroughly shaken and terrified Lydia, and pushed her towards the door. Lydia needed no further inducement, she was through the door like a shot and up the stairs to her room to throw herself on the bed and weep.

Lizzy for her part sank to her knees the moment Lydia left. She buried her face in her hands and rocked back on her heels exhausted. Yet, she could not cry. She felt rather than heard Mary step forward and rub her shoulders. Mary for all her awkwardness and shyness knew that companionship was often better than condolences. For her part she could not have expressed any sympathy to Lizzy then and there, but she knew that it had hit Lizzy terribly. Her own heart was twisted in two, and she knew that Lizzy simply needed to recollect herself. She was pulled from her own grief-stricken reflections when Lizzy moaned.

"Oh Mary, I have never behaved so ill! I have never slapped any of you ever. Yet I wanted to slap her again!" She cried and stared up at Mary. Mary had never been relied on for anything except for providing musical entertainment. She had certainly never been relied on for support or guidance, though she had offered Biblical advice many times before. She gently patted Lizzy's shoulder and shrugged helplessly.

"She deserved such a slap. To behave so ill and then accuse others of her own behaviour is far beyond anything I have ever witnessed. And then to lash out so violently! It makes me fear for Kitty." Lizzy nodded, and then began to rise.

"I think if you have no objection that Kitty should be removed to your room until Lydia shows no animosity toward her. I cannot help but feel that if she stayed there it would do more harm than good." Mary nodded at this proclamation, and began to leave the room.

"I shall seek out Kitty and inform her of this." She said and left Lizzy alone. That young woman stared at the wall for several long moments aware of the fireplace crackling and clock ticking, and yet remaining unmoving. Then she looked down at the bite mark on her hand. Lydia had not held back in anger. There was blood welling up from the nasty mark, and it stung most cruelly. Lizzy left the parlour in search of Mrs Hill and the kitchens. As she entered all the servants looked up at her and began expressing their condolences to her. She managed to accept them all with some equanimity, and then turned to Mrs Hill.

"Mrs Hill, would you send up a couple of maids and a footman to remove my sister Kitty's things to Mary's room? I fear Lydia's grief is too strong for Kitty to handle it, and she would be happier with Mary for company at this time. And if you wouldn't mind to bring me something for my hand I should be much obliged." There was a long pause and then Mrs Hill turned and gave out orders. A young strapping footman by the name of Roberts gallantly offered his arms to the two young maid's either side of him and left to go upstairs. Mrs Hill promptly bustled forward and exclaimed over the bite mark on Lizzy's hand. Before she knew it, she was seated and having her hand placed in some cold water and some herbs were wrapped around it. A salve of comfrey was taken down and smeared over her hand, which was quickly wrapped in a thin strip of old muslin. Lizzy thanked them all, and left for her papa's study to inform him of what happened and what she had done. He sipped his brandy while he listened and nodded when she finished. Satisfied that she had done right, she went upstairs and supervised the removal of Kitty from Lydia's room. That young lady was not rightly pleased having been planning on shredding some of Kitty's favourite things, but the presence of Lizzy and Mary greatly subdued her attitude and she was forced to vent her anger on her pillows. Kitty was more than pleased to be sleeping away from Lydia, and though she lay awake for a long time she was comforted by Mary's quiet presence. Lizzy went to bed and silently wept until she too fell asleep, and thus the Bennet household somewhat quietly passed the first night after Mrs Bennet's earthly departure.


	2. The Day The Birds Flew Away

**Thank you for all the reviews! I am so excited and thankful, and I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter. Someone raised a point with the last one that Lizzy would have been raised to be able to take over the household. I'm well aware of that, I must not have clarified that point within the story but I will do so now. What I meant was with the sudden shock of Mrs Bennet's death and Jane's exhaustion, Lizzy hadn't expected to be in charge so quickly. It's why she hesitates, but also why she knows what to do. Another person mentioned Charlotte's friendship with Lizzy, and questioned how they would have such a strong friendship for two years of knowing each other. But you must remember the society around Meryton was limited. In the book Mrs Bennet stated that she dined with "four and twenty families". Mrs Bennet was also great friends with Lady Lucas before Sir William's elevation to the knighthood. It would be no surprise to me if Charlotte had known all the Bennet girls since birth. It's highly likely that she played with both Jane and Lizzy as children, and was privy to watching them play as children. You must remember it is implied that Lady Lucas has several children besides Charlotte and Maria, therefore Jane and Lizzy would probably have several children to play with. This makes it much more reasonable for them to have such a strong friendship as they would have known each other for many years. Also as someone asked about their mourning, yes they would be in mourning for a year and a day I believe after Mrs Bennet's death. At six months they could wear half mourning clothes which consisted of pale colours, like grey, lavender etc. They wouldn't be able to attend the Assembly without scandal, but after maybe two or three months they would be able to make morning calls or attend small dinners with family and good friends. If any of this is wrong, or you have any questions please feel free to make mention of it. :) **

In the days that followed Mrs Bennet's death Jane managed to rouse herself to take over the mistress duties for the household. That she was qualified to do so there was no doubt. Once her grief was exhausted she pulled on a seemly infinite patience and strength of will in order to see to the numerous tasks ahead of her. Everyday they must dine, and they must be in mourning and so Jane saw to it that food was prepared for the wake and the funeral arrangements were made. She assigned Lizzy the task of keeping Lydia in check, for though it was fear of Lizzy that restrained her, she had no such compunction with sweet, good Jane. All her vileness and hatred would spew forth at her if she were left alone in that good woman's vicinity. Thus the task fell to Lizzy. Mary was to keep Kitty away from Lydia as much as possible, though Lydia taunted Kitty and Mary, the latter girl had only to raise her hand or get out of her seat threateningly and Lydia retreated hastily. Kitty was assigned to watch over her father and insure that he got his meals and was kept in good health. Jane had sent for the Gardiners to arrive, and they were expected to arrive on the Saturday before the funeral and to stay for a se'ennight. Jane had overseen the preparation of the rooms for their arrival. As she ascended the steps to prepare her mother's finest gown for the funeral, she took note of herself in a hall mirror. Her golden hair looked washed out with the black and she seemed pale and wan like a child. Her manner was spiritless and she looked far younger than the twenty years she possessed. Shaking herself from her reverie, she continued climbing the stairs and stepped into her mother's bedroom, hesitating when she saw her father sitting besides the bed holding her mother's hand. He looked so old and forlorn that she feared for him. Slowly she crossed to the closet and pulled out the muslin gown, to take it to be cleaned and pressed. As she descended she heard noise at the front door, and saw Charlotte Lucas admitted entrance. Her dear friend was wearing a black armband and a deep grey gown, and Jane descended the steps as rapidly as her dignity would allow her to. Mrs Hill took the gown from Jane's hands and stepped aside to let the young woman condole the new mistress.

"Oh Charlotte!" Jane cried softly and immediately went into the warm embrace of her oldest friend. Charlotte held her tightly and rocked her back and forth slightly. She was worried for the whole family and Jane's brief abandonment of her self-control was more than worrying. Charlotte had known Jane Bennet since she was five, and Elizabeth since she was seven. And now at six and twenty she worried about them all like she had never done so before. The noise of the door opening and closing had drawn Mr Bennet's attention, and he appeared before her to briefly bow and offer her a greeting before he was gone to his study. Charlotte had a good deal of respect for him and was saddened to see how deeply this news had affected him, let alone Jane! Gently, she led the young lady into the parlour and seated her gently by the fireplace. Jane managed to recompose herself and rung the bell to request some tea be sent up. Charlotte leaned forward and compassionately took her hands.

"Jane dear, I came to give you my most sincere condolences and to ask if you needed any help? My family and I are only too willing to left any burden from your hands no matter how small and insignificant." The sincerity in her tone belied an eagerness to serve, and Jane was well aware of Charlotte's helpful and compassionate nature. Recent pride in her ability to serve as mistress of Longbourne made her consider refusing the offer, but her common sense reasserted itself.

"I thank you, Charlotte, I must confess that I would love to accept your offer. We have not yet procured enough ribbon to do up the parlour, and the mourning drapes were severely moth eaten. If you would be good enough to procure us black ribbon and some black crepe, I should be most grateful." She replied earnestly, and Charlotte nodded.

"And your bonnets? Have you all black bonnets and the trimmings to accompany them?" Jane hesitated again.

"No, I believe we do not." She said softly and Charlotte nodded as if making up her mind.

"Then I shall visit that haberdashers and procure you those items. It will not be out of my way, as I meant to visit the milliners, and they are only two doors down. I will order the drapes for Longbourne. How many windows are they needed for?" She asked, and Jane pondered this slowly, putting her mind back into the order that she had previously possessed. While they hashed out the finer details, Sarah entered bearing the tea tray and Lizzy followed behind her.

"Charlotte!" She cried and tripped forward hastily. Charlotte rose and greeted Lizzy with a smile on her face.

"Lizzy, it's good to see you. How are you faring under the circumstances?" She asked and Lizzy quietly shook her head.

"It's strange. I feel as thought Mama is still here, and yet every time I turn to find her she is lying upstairs in state. It is the oddest of feelings and I am sure I shall never get used to it." Jane nodded as if to corroborate Lizzy's statement. Charlotte smiled sympathetically and turned the discussion back to what was needed. Lizzy mentioned mourning rings and that she had all the locks of hair from Mrs Bennet. Charlotte accepted the little envelope and tucked it safely into her reticule. The rest of the visit passed pleasantly, and when she rose to take her leave, she privately resolved to be a better neighbour and a more attentive friend. Once she had left, the two sisters exchanged glances. The uncertainty they felt was most keen, and they dreaded the upcoming funeral. The only bright spot in their lives was the anticipation of the Gardiner's arrival, but that was not for another four days and each day seemed to pass with a slowness that belied the usual time. Lizzy shared a sad smile with her sister and moved to wander about the garden planning the bouquets that they would place in the church. Jane heaved a sigh and turned back to finish her tea and plan an embroidery sampler in remembrance of her mother. But even as she began to sketch out the idea, Lydia entered.

There was a crafty gleam in her eye as if she knew that Lizzy had just left and she had lain in wait for such a moment. Jane considered ringing the bell for a moment and then discarded the idea. If she were to maintain any such image as the new mistress of the household then her authority would be supercilious if she were to require Lizzy's assistance in a matter as trivial as her disgraceful sister. With a small flourish Lydia seated herself across from Jane and leaned forward. Jane looked up and caught her eye. It was almost as if Lydia were daring her to give in, to look back down. Jane called upon the backbone she had recently found within herself and sat up straighter, tilted her chin up haughtily and returned Lydia's stare with a quiet authority. They held the stare for several minutes until Lydia finally broke it by sneering at Jane and turning away and she began to speak calmly and quietly.

"Mama was right you know. You are very selfish Jane. You killed Mama with your selfishness, your jealousy and your stupidity. And all for a bit of fun. Why should I not have fun? Simply because I had more men paying attention to myself than to you. You think yourself so fine and proud with your golden locks and your blue eyes, yet you hide an ugly heart underneath your fine trappings. La, I would not be surprised if you ended up a spinster, for no man will ever wish to marry a shrew regardless of beauty, and you only have a little of that. Shrews and witches no matter how beautiful are only good for mistresses and paramours, and then like all bad things they are dropped the moment they are used. I should think that would be all you would be good for, although I doubt you would ever be truly good at anything. You are false, Jane Bennet. You are a jealous, conniving, mean-spirited disgusting old witch, and the only thing you will ever be good for is being the lowest of the low! I should not be surprised if you never loved mama at all! And now you have killed her! I loved her far more than you, you undeserving jade!" She cried out angrily. Throughout her whole speech, Jane did not move, but when Lydia shouted those damning insults at her, something ugly and deep rose within in her. She wrestled with the strong emotion for a single second and then let it consume her. Jane placed aside her needlework and looked at Lydia fiercely.

"How dare you, Lydia Rosemary? How dare you sit here and accuse me of falseness and jealousy when by your jealousy you insisted that you attend an Assembly you were far too young for and ruin the whole night for all your sisters! Selfishness! Tis you who are selfish, Lydia, not I! You are a jealous girl, and indeed a girl you are! Full too young to be doing what you were! What were you thinking? First you act the harlot playing fast and loose with every man at the Assembly including the married and betrothed, then you have the gall and spite to accuse me of conniving! I should not want to be anything like you for a single second! How dare you have the wickedness to say that I did not love Mama! I am seven years older than you, and I have had the advantage of loving and knowing her for near a full seven years longer than you ever did! Twas I, she relied on and called for when her nerves ailed her! Twas I that she proclaimed would save us all from the hedgerows! I have never aspired to be anything great, and I certainly never shall, but I aspired to love her and care for her! Can you really be so hypocritical and stand there, insulting me the way you just have?! Accusing me of killing Mama, of having an ugly heart?! A witch! If I were ever so unlucky as to be a witch I should force you to feel every sad feeling that you have ever inspired in anyone ten times over! You are a heartless, beastly toad of a girl, and if a carriage should run you over, I would never run to your aid! I have had enough of your insults and hatred to rot my teeth out! Get out, and go to your room and don't you dare come back downstairs until you can apologise you heartless wretch! Begone!" She screamed, and Lydia shot to her feet and kicked Jane's shin soundly.

Jane gasped in pain, and then shot up to face Lydia, the ugly feeling inside her spilling out. Her hand rose of it's own volition and slapped Lydia across the cheek. The younger girl screeched and pushed Jane over. Jane stumbled back against the side of the chair and fell to the ground taking the chair with her. She rolled several times across the floor and Lydia rushed over drawing her fist back as she did. Jane shrieked and swept her foot underneath Lydia's and rolled away again, coming back up on her knees and pulling herself up. Lydia lay winded on the floor but by the wide-eyed furious expression on her face, she wasn't likely to remain there. Jane dashed around her to the fireplace and pulled the poker free before dashing back to Lydia. At this point, the younger girl was on her knees and was slowly standing, when Jane rushed forward. Quick as a cat, Lydia balled up her fist and drove it into Jane's stomach forcing an "Oof!" from her lips. She tried to kick Jane again, but Jane managed to sidestep it, and promptly backhanded Lydia causing the young girl to turn away with a scream. Instantly, Jane grabbed a handful of Lydia's hair and pulled sharply forcing another scream to issue forth from her lips. Lydia twisted violently in Jane's grasp, cursing and spitting like a cat, and then screamed again when Jane drew back the poker with her left hand and brought it sharply down on Lydia's derriere. Several more smacks issued forth, but Lydia still twisted and shouted wildly underneath the assault. Jane managed to march Lydia to the door by thrashing her soundly, uncaring of whether the poker hit the soft flesh of her thighs or the spine in her back, and wrenched the door open. She marched the still cursing Lydia down the hall by her hair and no matter how soundly Lydia cursed her or shrieked and baulked, she was always forced on by the hard iron poker smashing into her buttocks or her thighs. The noise drew Mary and Kitty from the dining room where they had been engaged in redoing some bonnets for the funeral. It also drew the servants from the kitchen and Mr Bennet from his study. That good gentleman stopped at stared at the sight of his usually peaceful eldest daughter soundly thrashing his wild youngest girl with an iron poker. Lydia saw him through her tears and tried to stop and reach for him, but was forced past him by Jane.

"Papa stop her! Papa, she's gone mad! Papa please! Please! STOP IT!" She screamed as she was forced relentlessly up the stairs. Halfway up the wild shrieking turned to sobbing, and begging as Lydia pleaded for Jane to stop. But Jane did not in fact stop, and no one moved forward to stop her. She forced Lydia up the stairs and onto her bed and gave her several more good solid thwacks.

"I TOLD YOU TO GO TO YOUR ROOM BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN! THE FAULT IS ALL YOURS LYDIA! NEVER ACCUSE ME OF KILLING MAMA AGAIN!" And Jane Bennet having thoroughly lost her temper slammed the windows closed and tied them together with several ribbons in knots so indistinguishable that they would later require cutting to open the window again. Lydia having sensed a chance to escape had pulled herself off the bed, but when she tried to take a step, the pain in her legs was too great and she had collapsed on the floor and was pitifully pulling herself towards the cry. She sobbed heartily as she heard Jane's footsteps come closer, and then she was ruthlessly hauled up again by her hair and almost throw onto the bed, where she received another sound thrashing. The cries that escaped her this time, were not defiant ones but pitiful ones, and she sobbed loudly wailing for help like small but loud kitten. But no one came to her aid. When Jane finally exhausted herself, she marched from the room and slammed the door loudly and then throwing the poker away like it had branded her, she marched across the hall to her mother's room and went in and wept.

Downstairs the occupants of the house were thoroughly shocked. In the silence that followed Lydia's door slamming they all stared at each other in turn completely unable to say anything. Lizzy, pulled from the gardens by the sounds of screaming ran in through the front door and broke the spell.

"Papa, I heard screaming! What has happened?!" She cried, breathing hard and looking around wildly as if to discern what event had just taken place. Mr Bennet stared at her solemnly.

"Your sister lost her temper." And Lizzy shook her head as if unable to account screaming with a lost temper.

"Lydia?" She said confusedly, and stared at her father completely bewildered.

"No Lizzy, twas not Lydia, but Jane." Mary said slowly, as if she too could not quite reconcile sweet Jane with what had just happened. Kitty nodded vigorously.

"She just thrashed Lydia with the drawing room poker." At this stunning proclamation Lizzy's jaw dropped in the most unladylike manner and she fell back against the wall, trying to catch her breath. Mr Bennet stared at her for several seconds and then turned to the staff.

"If I hear any gossip regarding what just happened, I will dismiss you all without reference with the exception that Mr and Mrs Hill will remain. Am I understood?" He said firmly, and looked at them all. For several seconds nothing was said, than one of the kitchen girls burst forth.

"Lawks amercy Mr Bennet sir, there isn't a soul 'ere who would say a word against Miss Jane. She's all that's sweet an good in this world say an that's the very truth. I'll not breathe a word against her till my dying day I won't." She affirmed solemnly and the staff nodded. Mrs Hill looked at Mr Bennet.

"Lucy has the right of it, Mr Bennet. The staff won't speak of this to anyone, you have my word." She said firmly and Mr Bennet nodded and turned back to his girls.

"One of you should go upstairs and see to Lydia. She may very well be bleeding." All three girls looked at each other, and then Kitty stepped forward to volunteer.

"I will Papa." She said, and Lizzy shook her head.

"But Lydia hates you, Kitty. Has she not just been threatening you these past five days?" She said, and Mary nodded.

"Lizzy is right, surely you do not wish to endure her hateful tongue?" But Kitty shook her head.

"Lydia has just been beaten soundly by the sister she never thought would retaliate. She fears the both of you, but not I. If I go up to her, she is far less likely to make a fuss or react badly. And after this escapade she will see me as an ally." She replied firmly, and Mr Bennet smiled grimly at her. Mrs Hill turned and ordered the staff to return to their duties and bade Kitty to wait while she prepared some dressings and a basin of water and herbs. It took three of them, including Kitty to carry the supplies upstairs, and when they entered Lydia's room, she flinched and though she relaxed somewhat upon viewing Kitty, she was still very wary. Mrs Hill looked at Kitty for several seconds and Kitty waved a hand dismissing her. Lydia turned herself over and put her back against the headrest, defensively balling up when Kitty approached.

"I suppose you are here to gloat and to beat me too." She muttered staring at her sister with a strange mixture of fear and anger in her eyes. Kitty looked her up and down, eyeing the blotchy red skin and the obvious tear tracks and then she held out her hand, speaking softly and calmly.

"Come Lydia, let us get you out of those clothes." Lydia eyed her hand warily.

"I cannot stand." She replied and Kitty winced sympathetically.

"Then I shall undress you in bed, now can you move forward so I can get them off. I shall need to access your legs to spread the salve." Lydia still looked at her warily, but her legs and buttocks ached dreadfully and so she took Kitty's hand and scooted forward and pulled her clothes up. Kitty sat beside her on the bed, and gently loosened the gown, pulling it over Lydia's head and throwing it to the edge of the bed. She did the same with the petticoat and stays until Lydia was only in her shift and stockings. She had almost reached forward to remove those, but Lydia halted her by removing them herself, wincing as she stretched out her legs. Kitty eyed the shift, but eventually elected to leave Lydia with some dignity, and bade her turn over and to lie flat on her stomach. Lydia hesitated, but Kitty put a gentle hand on her arm and began pulling back the coverlet and sheets saying "Unless you are comfortable lying on your sore legs?", and she turned herself over, watching Kitty out of the corner of her eyes. Kitty pulled up the shift and gasped as she saw the marks left by the poker. Long, thin, angry welts covered Lydia's buttocks, thighs and lower back.

"Oh Lydia!" She gasped and reached out to gently touch one. Lydia drew in a sharp breath, and Kitty quickly retracted her hand. She drew the small table close to the bed and with it the bowl of water and creams and cloths. Dipping a linen cloth in the water, she squeezed it out and placed the cool cloth over Lydia. Lydia drew in another sharp breath and Kitty began to remove it, but stopped when Lydia begged her "Oh no leave it there, please.". She quickly wet the other cloths and placed them over the welts, and then bade Lydia to rise on her arms. Gently, she removed the pins from Lydia's hair, setting the curls and ringlets loose. Removing the soft brush from the dresser, she slowly worked her way through the tangles in Lydia's hair until it was smooth and tangle free. Then she gently began to twist the hair into a plait. Lydia lay silently as she worked, and shuddered several times as one is wont to do after crying heavily. Finally she spoke.

"I have never seen Jane so angry." She said softly and Kitty smiled.

"Nor I, Lydia. What must you have said to make her so?" Lydia sighed.

"I called her a shrew and said she was jealous. I also told her that she was false, mean-spirited and a witch." Kitty gasped.

"How could you? You know that is not true! But Lydia, I cannot see that driving Jane to be so angry. You must have said something truly terrible to have caused her to react so cruelly?" Lydia was silent for several seconds.

"I may have told her that she was only good for being a man's mistress and that no one would ever marry her." Kitty stopped in shock.

"Lydia! Wha-"

"That is not all, Kitty. I-, I may have also accused her of never loving Mama, and I said that she as good as killed Mama." Kitty thumped her shoulder lightly, and placed herself so that she could look at Lydia.

"You thoughtless, heartless girl! Why would you ever say that? How could you hate her that much?" Lydia stared at her and hung her head.

"I wanted to hurt her Kitty. I've always been jealous of her. She's always been Mama's favourite. Mama always went on about her saving us all from the hedgerows. So I thought if I acted like Mama, then maybe she would love me more. Only it never worked." Kitty shook her head at her foolish younger sister and tied off the ribbon on her plait. Gesturing for Lydia to lay back down, she removed the cloths from her skin and looked at the welts. They were still red and raw but far less angry than they had been earlier. She gently wiped them down with a dry cloth and began to smear arnica and comfrey paste onto Lydia's skin. As she worked she spoke softly to her sister.

"Lydi, Jane was always going to be Mama's favourite. Jane is sweet and kind and beautiful, and modestly talented at everything. She is also the eldest. I have never been either Mama or Papa's favourite daughter. Papa loves Lizzy for her wit and cleverness. And Mama always loved Jane the most. We have always been thrown to the back and left to fend for ourselves. I have spent years being jealous of you and angry at you whenever you stole my bonnets or gowns that I had made up in order to gain Mama's attention. You remember that neither Papa nor Mama ever came to my defence. Mary and I have spent years being in the shadow of, Jane and Lizzy. But yet, you have never seen me act so disgracefully as you did to Jane. Mayhap you should consider that, Lydia. Even with all the ideas that we came up, none of our intentions were ever to hurt each other. Mary never broke her promise and neither have I. Don't you forget all those times. We swore a vow to each other, and the only one who has broken it was you." And Kitty washed her hands in the bowl and dried them. Leaning over she pulled down the shift, and covered Lydia up with the coverlet. She looked down at her younger sister who was deep in thought. With a small smile on her face she leaned over and placed a kiss on Lydia's forehead before turning and exiting the room. Lydia was left to contemplate her actions and the consequences they had until she fell asleep. Meanwhile the news of Mrs Bennet's death spread through Meryton like fire, and one widow began plotting with a devious smile.

**Well I hope you all enjoyed this, and are pleased with this chapter. I did this one in between dealing with my little baby girl and terrible plot ideas. If any of you are horrified, it was not entirely uncommon in those days for both wives and children to be beaten severely by parents and short of attempted murder, no one could actually do anything. I do realise that Jane may be OOC, but I hated that she is either always portrayed as an absolute angel or a demon with the guise of an angel. I think with all the pressure and the grief and self-doubt and (poorly placed) guilt that she would have snapped under Lydia's vindictive speech. That's it for next time. Hasta la vista :)**


	3. To Bitterly Regret

**Thank you all for your reviews and suggestions. I want to address some of your concerns. For those who are believe Jane was OOC, that was exactly the point. She is meant to be portrayed as out of character. The poker was meant to be too much, even for the characters as you will see in this chapter. Those who mentioned that Mr Bennet had done nothing, I would like to remind you that Lizzy, his favourite daughter, strongly cautioned him about letting Lydia go to Brighton and he laughed it off in the actual book. As for Lydia's self awareness, I firmly believe that all the Bennet girls were intelligent or capable of intelligence, thus explaining Lydia's self awareness. Also someone mentioned that the body would be buried as soon as possible. While that is most likely true, I did some research and I did find it wasn't uncommon for the body to remain for several days until appropriate mourning attire could be made or dyed and relatives could be summoned for the funeral. It didn't specifically mention the Regency Era, but I believe that the custom would have been of some duration. Mrs Bennet has at this point only been lying around upstairs for the past five days. She died on the Friday, her funeral is on the Sunday next. She would be placed in the coffin the moment it could be brought to the house, and she would be dressed by her daughters. If that isn't the case then it is now for the purpose of this story progression.**

**Now I do not condone abuse, but for the purpose of this story it had to happen. Jane will be punished, not in the way that some of you may think but in keeping with Jane's normal character such a punishment would have an impact on her. Someone mentioned that for Jane to beat Lydia, when it wasn't common in her household suggests something evil. Now I agree with that conclusion, normally that is what it would suggest. But people do strange and often incredibly hurtful things in their grief. The victim blaming was a terrible thing to do, but Lydia had been doing that for the past several days, and not just at Jane. Kitty snapped too, but far more mildly than Jane's reaction.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I hope it explains the events of the past two chapters.**

Not long after Kitty came back downstairs, she was summoned into Mr Bennet's study by Lizzy. The trembling young girl stood awkwardly before her father before he waved at her to sit in a chair, beside Lizzy. For several seconds he stared at her, before speaking so suddenly he startled poor Kitty.

"Well my girl. What did you find out?" There was another long silence and then Kitty began to sob. The affect it had on Mr Bennet and Lizzy was immediate. Both looked extremely alarmed as her sobs grew until she was fairly red in the face with crying. Mr Bennet coughed loudly to gain Kitty's attention and when her tear-stained face rose to meet his, he shifted his chair to the side and held open his arms. With another loud sob Kitty flung herself out of her chair, around the desk and onto his lap, clinging tightly to her father with all her might. Mr Bennet grunted at the impact, but simply wrapped his arms around her and rocked her back and forth as he had done many times before when she was a child. For Kitty had been a colicky babe and there had been many a night that he had paced the floor with her in his arms. That he was surprised at the strength of her reaction, he did not show it and simply looked up at Lizzy with a raised brow. Lizzy for her part seemed shocked that Kitty should react so, and her eyes begged her father to find out the truth. Mr Bennet nodded and repeated his question to Kitty, who through hiccuping sobs told them all she had learned from Lydia and what she had seen. As she revealed the extent of Lydia's injuries, Lizzy looked more and shocked and Mr Bennet's countenance turned grim. When she told them what Lydia had said, Lizzy got up and began pacing the room. After she had finished relating it all, Mr Bennet stood Kitty up and then removed himself from the room with a pat of her back and a loaded look at Lizzy. Elizabeth, for once in her life was completely silent. Kitty, however was still full of emotion, and when she met Lizzy's strong gaze, she shrank back.

"I would have never condoned it Lizzy, I swear. I thought Lydia was jealous of Jane at one time or another, we both were! I never believed that it would lead to her attacking Jane! I'm not a horrible person, I couldn't have stood hearing those things that Lydia said, but I do understand where she is coming from." Kitty hiccuped but some stopped sobbing, though her body still convulsed with repressed crying, and she wrapped her arms around herself and moved to look out the window. As the warm sunlight bathed her face, she seemed to strike Lizzy as such a young, vulnerable woman that she was moved to compassion. Lizzy quickly crossed to Kitty's side and put an arm around her waist.

"Surely, Kitty you would have known that you could have found solidarity with Papa. You could have always gone to Mary and I. Why didn't you?" Kitty laughed bitterly and launched into a diatribe that shook her sister to her core.

"Lizzy, you say that with all the assurance of one who could never do wrong in the eyes of Papa. It is no secret to the whole of Meryton that Papa considers Lydia and I the silliest girls in all England! How could I go to you? You would not understand. You are in Jane's confidences all the time, you never spend any time with us younger girls. Mary used to have me for a companion until Fordyce's sermons turned her head, along with Papa's strictures and Mama's complaints. Now Lydia and I have each other. Neither of us has any wish to become bookish like Mary, but we three all know that we will never have the attention of Mama and Papa the way you and Jane do. Even by acting ridiculous does naught but drive Mama into fits of silliness with us and Papa raises an eyebrow and dismisses us as childish and stupid. We cannot compete by being intelligent. We cannot compete by being pretty. The only possible hope of attention that we would receive in order to avoid being driven to the back wall and left in the cold; are to stand out in our ways. Lydia and I chose to be mischievous and wild, and Mary chose to be bookish. And yet for all the effort we put in to noticed and to try and receive our share of parental love and affection, or even dare I say, sisterly affection, goes awry for it comes out in strictures or complaints! The only time you have ever spoken to Mary for the past few years was to tell her to play different tunes or to ask her whether she would like to walk to the bookshop. You certainly never talk to Lydia or I unless you deem absolutely necessary! Why ever should I entertain the notion that behaving well and being a good girl would get me the love and affection of my family when previously when I did behave I received near the same treatment I do now?! That embrace I received from Papa was the first one I have had since I was seven, and that was nigh on nine years ago! Neither you nor Jane ever go out of your way to speak to Lydia and I unless we have behaved poorly and even our behaviour is deliberately designed to receive that notice. Why do you think we never heed your advice? Why do you think I agreed to behave at the Assembly when you all promised to dance with me? It certainly wasn't because I realised I was behaving badly! It was because you finally decided to play nice to me, and I did my utmost to encourage it. Of course, Mary would have danced with me, I never had any fears regarding that score. She is a good older sister to me." Kitty concluded wistfully, and Lizzy, who had clamped a hand over her mouth to stop herself from speaking or crying, now removed it and stared at her younger sister, whose head was stubbornly turned away.

"Oh Kitty, I never knew! I never figured that you three behaved the way you did for love and attention. I always thought Mary loved her books more. And yet, Kitty if you truly love Mary so, why do you and Lydia torment her? That is hardly the actions of a caring sister." Kitty snorted and moved away, fingering the back of a chair as she spoke.

"Oh la, Lizzy another mystery you have yet to solve. For someone who prides herself on noting the characters of those around her, you are remarkably dense with those closest to you! There is an agreement between Mary, Lydia and I that Lydia and I shall torment Mary at the most opportune moments and she shall try and regulate our behaviour by quoting Fordyce and the Holy Bible. In doing so, we are bound to draw attention to ourselves, specifically with the hope that either you or Jane will strike up a rapport with Mary, and once one is established, she will then begin drawing us into the conversations, and we will over time get our behaviour under regulation and you will believe that it was all your doing. And yet, so far our plans have failed. Thus Mary shall always play the pianoforte badly and be bookish, Lydia and I shall always be silly, boisterous and mischievous, and so the cycle shall continue until you and Jane are married and we can find husbands or our own to lavish us with attention and love. That is unless we both become as cynical as Mary." Again Lizzy looked shocked.

"Mary? Cynical? What ever could she have to be cynical about?" At this, Kitty finally turned to face Lizzy and there was such a look of utter disdain on her face, that Lizzy drew away from her.

"It may have escaped your notice Lizzy, but Mary is quite lovely without her spectacles and her awful fashion sense. But I believe I can safely answer your question by quoting her own words by telling you 'If I cannot find love in my own family, from my parents and my own siblings, I surely shall never attract that romantic love that is so beguiling to me, and it shall suit me never to seek it lest I be sorely disappointed in those great endeavours only granted to those more fortunate than I'. So you see Lizzy, Mary believes she shall never marry, and that she shall presently join Charlotte Lucas in the state of spinsterhood. A state I am determined to avoid, and if I can possibly help it, Mary shall avoid it too. You want Jane and yourself to marry for love, yet you never consider that your sisters want only the same thing. And for all the love you have received, I believe that us younger girls deserve a loving husband far more than the pair of you." And Kitty gave her sister another hard stare before she whirled around and stormed out of the room, leaving her extremely hurt and perplexed elder sister behind.

In another room, Mr Bennet was having far more trouble with Lydia than Kitty had had. The moment he had entered the room, he had been privy to watching his youngest daughter flinch the second she saw him. He did not understand why she should be so afraid of him for he had put on his most fatherly, kind face. Yet even as he moved toward her, she shrank back on the bed, immediately seek to protect her injured side from him. Her eyes were guarded, watching him warily and he sat on the seat that Kitty had vacated.

"My child, why would you fight so, especially after your mother's death?" If it was at all possible, Lydia shrank back even more. Her posture and the martial look in her eye reminded Mr Bennet of a coiled snake about to strike.

"I miss Mama dreadfully. I wanted to hurt Jane so I did." She said, in a quiet, neutral tone. Mr Bennet stared at her.

"But to hate her?" He questioned and Lydia's face went taut, every muscle suddenly rigid, and a fleeting look of fury crossed her face followed by betrayal. As quickly as those emotions came so did they leave and Lydia returned to neutrality.

"I never told you I hated Jane." She replied, and Mr Bennet took a moment to appreciate her cunning mind.

"No, you did not say it to me, but you said it to Kitty, and she said it to me. You do not know how much it hurt your sister to relate it to me. I held her in my arms as she wept." He was momentarily taken aback by the reaction Lydia had to that particular sentence. Jealousy warred with pain on her face, and he wondered that Lydia should feel jealous.

"Aye, I told Kitty." She replied, and he waited a moment for her to continue before realising she would say no more. It took him a full moment to realise that she was subtly trying to control the interrogation, for interrogation it was. She would give him no more and no less than she felt he should receive. He considered on abandoning the fatherly act, but figured that with Lydia being as stubborn and guarded as she was, it would only cause her more pain and she would never give in. It was perhaps unfortunate for him that she possessed the same stubborn, fiery spirit that Lizzy did.

"Why do you hate your sister, Lydia?" And he realised he should have framed it better when she replied, oh so quickly.

"Which one, Jane or Kitty?" Mr Bennet stared at her, the kind look on his face being replaced by a frown. He had never matched wits with his youngest daughter, he had never suspected her of having anything akin to cunning or intelligence. He was also highly aware that this was the longest conversation he'd ever had with any of his daughters below Lizzy.

"Jane, Lydia, Jane. Unless you hate Kitty too."

"I should dislike her, or even blame her for sharing my confidences. But I do not hate her. I am not so stupid as to hate the person who tended my wounds."

"But still you hate Jane."

"Jane has not tended my wounds."

"Jane is still your sister."

"An unfortunate connection for her, I suppose. I do not relish it either."

"Child, why should you hate her. She has never done you ill." Mr Bennet was now thoroughly confused. Lydia did not disappoint on her clarification.

"Never done me ill? If a mother never harms her babe, feeds her, teaches her, and yet never touches her beyond what is necessary I suppose she never does her child ill. Yet the child shall always feel lacking." Lydia retorted and Mr Bennet pounced on her metaphor.

"And you feel like that child do you? You feel lacking from Jane. As far as I have seen she has always been civil to you."

"Civil! Ha, if civility pertained to talking to someone only when necessary, an acquaintance might not be slighted by such strictures, but a sisterhood should surely promote greater intimacy."

"You have your own intimacy with Kitty." He replied, and Lydia snorted again.

"Borne of necessity, I utterly reassure you. Kitty and I rarely agree on anything. Not novels, not books nor fashion. For sisters as close as she and I, we have little in common beyond the usual things. Such a singular intimacy would be highly agreeable mixed in with the other sisterly intimacies women share, and yet she and I have only the one intimacy and so it becomes most disturbing when you are out of sorts with one another. We cannot remain pleasant with each other, yet we cannot remain angry lest we are cut off."

"Borne of necessity! Singular! Upon my word, Lydia, I believe you to be telling the veriest of falsehoods! Are you informing me that you have not one single intimacy amongst your family other than that of Kitty?!" Mr Bennet exclaimed, and he stared at her in astonishment.

"Are you so intimate with me, Father, that you can remain blind to my lack of friendships within my sisters? Does it truly astonish you so?" She replied sardonically, and he was completely and utterly taken aback. That Lydia, lively Lydia should feel isolated within her own family should not ring true, and yet he could see that she was truly angry.

"Can you truly tell me without a lie upon your conscience that you do not have any familiarity with any of your sisters other than Kitty?" He asked, and Lydia met his eyes unequivocally.

"I can and I do." And for a moment Mr Bennet was completely bereft of anything to say. He faltered and stared at Lydia quite remorsefully, but his inexperience with his younger daughters had led him to be unequal to reassuring them.

"You have always been loved, Lydia, never doubt that."He said uncertainly, but Lydia was having none of it.

"Of course, I forgot that love had a funny way of being shown through neglect and impatience. True love must always manifest itself through silence and uncaring manners. Through disdain and condescension. Naturally such love is the deepest kind and will never show itself through patience, kindness, tenderness, understanding and fairness. I shall always consider being called 'the silliest girl in all England' the highest compliment I could ever receive." She replied contemptuously, and Mr Bennet flinched. He eyed her contemplatively for a second, and then stood.

"Regardless of your hatred for your sister, I cannot allow you to act in such a manner. Therefore after the funeral and the wake, not one person in this household shall speak to you. You shall not go out into society, not anywhere. Your punishment shall continue for a full two weeks. You will receive plain meals. And I will see that you are always in some useful employment. The mending work for the tenants and the poor shall be your workload. I shall have Lizzy inspect every article you mend. In addition you will spend one hour every morning reading the Bible and another full hour reading etiquette manuals. I will then expect a page long essay every evening comparing your behaviour to that of the Biblical women and the women described in the manuals. You will practice your accomplishments by playing the pianoforte for one whole hour, and Mary shall listen to you and report to me. You will also work with Jane to take apart your mother's gowns. If I hear that you are intentionally carrying out your punishment in an ill mannered fashion, I will double your punishment. If this behaviour continues I will delay your coming out until Kitty is married. And even then if you are still ill mannered I shall marry you to the dullest man I can find." The mutinous look that crossed Lydia's face would never be described well enough to do it justice, her eyes were full of suppressed fury and her nod was terse. Grateful that she had quietly acquiesced he left the room quickly. There was only Jane to contend with, but he doubted that she would present much of a challenge unless she had completely lost her wits and senses.

It wasn't hard to find his eldest daughter. All he had to do was follow the sound of her sobbing to his wife's chambers and step in. Jane was kneeling beside the bed, weeping as though her life was about to end. She looked up when he closed the door, and then buried her face in the bed sheets and wept even harder.

"I had not realised my mere presence was cause for such sorrow." Mr Bennet said wryly and Jane shook her head.

"Oh Papa I lost my temper! I couldn't help it! It was like evil possessed me! I don't know why I wanted to hurt her so badly, but I did! And I couldn't stop it once I started!" She cried, and Mr Bennet stepped closer to her.

"But the truth is my dear girl, is that is exactly what you did. You are aware my child, that if Lydia had reacted in such a way I might have been forced to send her to Bedlam. Indeed people have been sent there for less!" At these shocking words, Jane launched herself at her Papa's feet, looking for all the world as though she was grovelling. And indeed she was.

"Oh Papa please! Papa do not send me there! I will behave, I promise! I will be a model daughter and sister, I will! Please don't send me there, please!" She cried and Mr Bennet felt his temper renewing. That his daughters should automatically assume the worst of him and to be begging before him tried his patience. He reached down and grasping Jane by the shoulders, roughly pulled her to her feet. He all, but frogmarched her to the window seat and curtly bade her to sit. Jane stared up at him, her blue eyes reddened and he shook his head at her.

"I am not G-d, nor the King, nor a slave-master that you should beg before me, child! I am not heartless, and indeed I could never countenance the thought of any of my daughters being in that place, no matter how wild! But I have already had to ensure that the servant's do not gossip or ruination would be upon us. If you had acted so in company I would have had little choice, but to send you off there and marry your sisters to tradesmen before the taint of scandal befell them! I heard from Kitty what Lydia had said to you, I heard her description of the bruises you left on your little sister's body! I have never and will never condone such shocking violence amongst my own household! Do you know why I will never condone violence?!" Jane shook her head at him, and he sat down next to her. "My dear child, your cousin Mr Collins, who is the heir to this place shares the same paternal grandfather as I do. My grandfather, Henry Bennet, was much deceived in the countenance of James Collins, my uncle-in-law. He wed your grand-aunt Penelope Bennet to James Collins upon Mr Collins asking and Penelope's conceding. He was up, until the day before the marriage took place, unaware that James Collins had forced his attentions on Penelope and raped her. He had placed his child inside her belly, and she knew this and gave in to his blackmail in which her dowry of five thousand pounds would cede to him upon her marriage to him. She bore him a daughter six months after she wed him, and after that day there was not an hour that went by that my grandfather did not fear for her life and that of her daughter. He was correct to fear, because as the servants gossip went, she was raped daily and beaten near hourly by the miserly codger until she almost passed away. Her daughter, Louisa Jane, was suffocated in her sleep, although there were no witnesses to say so. She would have been a year older than me." Silently, he got up and began pacing the room. Jane swallowed her sobs and watched him for several minutes.

"As the years went by eventually she bore him a son, and another daughter. The son grew up to be a belligerent tyrant, the daughter was disgraced when she left to remove to another county upon the village learning she was pregnant with what everyone believed was her father's baby. There were reports from my father who tried to find her, but we learned that she gave birth to a stillborn son who was named Quentin, and then she passed not long after. She was my cousin Vivian. Not long after that news tore through the town, Penelope took ill and died. We believe she suffered a shock at her the news of what her husband had done. Her husband drunk himself into a stupor and attempted to force himself upon the magistrate's daughter in some obscure little town in Cornwall. He was called to a duel and died the following morning. The son, Arthur, moved away from Hertfordshire and went up north to Lincolnshire, where he took his own wife and she bore him a son. We received no further reports. But I grew up knowing Vivian, seeing the bruises on her body and those on her mother's face. My father never resorted to violence, and neither will I. And that is why, my girl, I will never condone what you just did to your sister. It is a despicable act, cruel and hateful, and I will never allow it to happen in my home." Jane looked down, ashamed of herself.

"I couldn't help it, Father." She said softly, and Mr Bennet sat down next to her.

"Then pull yourself together. You are the eldest of five daughters, and with your mother dead you are now Mistress of Longbourn! And mistresses of fine estates do not behave like tyrannical old biddies with nothing better to do than beat their children and gossip. You are a fine woman, Jane! A fine, intelligent young woman! Don't let some evil impulse get the better of you. I know you are better than that, I raised you! Now as to your punishment." He said and Jane looked up in alarm.

"Punishment, Papa?" She enquired hastily and her father raised an eyebrow.

"Yes Jane, punishment. You didn't think I would let you get away with it. From a month after the funeral and subsequent wake you will remain isolated in this house. No one will speak to you, and your position as mistress will cede to Lizzy until the month is through. You will not go out into society, you will not receive calls on your behalf. You are to work in the still room preparing the medicines for the tenants to receive. No one is to assist you though I am fully aware that you dislike that work at the best of times, and that usually Lizzy does it. You will be provided with the herbs and such as you require. I expect you to put your best effort into it. I also expect you to devote an hour every day at the pianoforte to sharpen your skills. In addition you will study your French, German and Latin daily. I will expect essays in each of those languages on a subject of your own choosing at the end of the month and you are to write me essays on the properties of the herbs that you use in the still room. I will give you a list of the things I expect that essay to contain. In addition you will read etiquette books and the Bible daily. You will have plain meals, and you will only be allowed a cup of tea once a day, and no wine at dinner. I will also have you and Lydia take apart your mother's gowns and use them as you see fit. The stays, petticoats and the like may be turned into rags and bandages, but I expect you to see that the lace, ribbons and fabric are reused accordingly. You may wish to make sentimental keepsakes out of them. If you do not keep to your punishment with the grace and equanimity I know you have, I shall double it." He stopped and looked at her quizzically. There were tears in her eyes and yet she maintained her composure remarkably well. He nodded at her, and gave her a half-smile before he softly left the room to go downstairs. On the way to the parlour he met Lizzy, who was leaning against the wall wiping tears from her cheeks. She met his eyes and shook her head as if to dismiss his thoughts. What had occurred he did not know, but for Lizzy it had the greatest impact.

Not long after Kitty had left her alone in her father's study, she had followed her to the parlour where she could hear Kitty and Mary's voices. As she got closer it became apparent that they were talking about her.

"I couldn't help it Mary, I snapped. She was pretending that she understood us and how we felt. I couldn't stand watching her be so upright and mighty and pretentious."

"Be as that may Kitty, I will not stand to be on the receiving end of Lizzy's sympathy now that she knows. It would hurt me to much to endure it."

"Yes, but Mary, you and I both know that you possess a certain loveliness when you dress differently."

"A loveliness that never attracted Mama's attention or approval, nor Papa, Jane or Lizzy's. They are all so used to my being plain that they never considered age would make me more womanly. I am full aware that my spectacles hinder my beauty, and that the gowns I have chosen as well as the hairstyle I wear do nothing to improve my appearance. But that is my own choice brought about by years of being told not to put myself forward."

"I know Mary. You don't have to give up you know."

"Give up? Kitty, I have not given up."

"So the fact that your gowns have become more drab, and your hairstyles more severe over the past two years has nothing to do with the fact that John Lucas was easily persuaded to pay attention to Lizzy by our mother, despite the fact he stayed by your side for half an Assembly when you could not dance. And then subsequently you were told to not put yourself forward because Mama believed you could never attract a man. Henceforth you have played ill without any care for playing ill, and have done everything to reduce people from looking at you. I know that you wear bindings under your stays, sister, in order to maintain your bosom. I only ask whether you are hoping to suddenly transform from the ugly duckling into the swan, or whether you are have given up all hope of a suitable match?"

"Oh Kitty dearest, if you think I have any hope of being beheld as a swan while Jane and Lizzy remain unwed and in Meryton, you have a confidence beyond what it should be."

"Mary, we neither of us have Jane's beauty. She was blessed with the classical English rose looks, fair of hair and blue of eye. I have auburn hair, and grey eyes, and I am slim figured with barely a womanly decolletage. You have dark brown hair and grey eyes also, but despite your extremely admirable attempts to reduce it, you have do have an ample bosom. You know that all Meryton views you as the ugly Bennet sister. I do not know why you persist in continuing this charade, when you know full well that it only takes a certain hairstyle and more fashionable spectacles along with an entire wardrobe overhaul to make you a beauty."

"And why should I do that Kitty? You know Jane and Lizzy will view me pityingly, thinking that I am undergoing some dramatic change each morning to beautify myself. Not until I find a man who is willing to look beyond appearances, will I change my appearances to suit my personality." Kitty smirked at her sister.

"Of course Mary, shall you wear shimmering pink silk to match your sparkling wit and vivacity?" From her vantage point by the door Lizzy heard Mary pick up a book and throw it at Kitty who dodged with a small laugh. Mary did not appear angered though, and she settled back easily into her seat.

"In all seriousness, Kitty, I have no intentions of changing my present course simply because the ruse is up. Jane and Lizzy will never change, and neither will Papa. They will disbelieve you simply because they are superior in age and therefore believe themselves superior in their accomplishments. Lizzy and Papa for all their character study have known me my whole life, and still they do not realise who I am and what I do. They will never take the time to learn. They do not know how accomplished either one of us is, nor do they know that Lydia is really nowhere near as silly as her mannerisms suggest, though I fear she has taken it too far."

"Oh Mary, she told me that she hated Jane. I knew that she disliked her, and I can understand her dislike, but hatred? I cannot understand it."

"Hatred? I was never informed."

"Mary, I never knew myself. We have all had our grievances against Jane and Lizzy, but I do not believe either of us descended into hatred."

"Indeed not. I may not like them because of their lack of affection but I do respect them for their characters despite the flaws they both possess." Mary replied, and Lizzy, her head spinning from the information she had learnt, leaned back against the wall and allowed tears to flow down her cheeks. How long had she neglected her younger sisters? Long enough for Lydia to learn to hate Jane, enough that Mary hid herself in a shell and refused to come out until they had left. When had Kitty become so rational? She did not know. In recent years Lydia and Kitty had left girlhood behind and become sillier and sillier, but far from being dissuaded they had gotten worse with each reprimand. Of course Lizzy realised that in all those years, she had never taken the time to sit down with them and learn what each sister was like. Mary had never stood out, she had her good features but she had never really been spectacular and she had blossomed late. Her bosom had come into it's own at sixteen, and her features had become more womanly, but by then her mother had despaired of Mary. And Kitty and Lydia! What lacking there?! Had jealousy prevailed so strongly as to induce hatred? She stood there hearing everything and at the same time completely unable to comprehend it. How long she stood there she did not know, but there she remained until Mr Bennet came down the stairs. He raised an eyebrow at her obvious distress but she shook her head and he let it drop. They entered the parlour together, and he informed them all of the punishment waiting to befall Jane and Lydia. Though they were surprised, no one disputed the punishment and Mr Bennet spoke quickly to them regarding their duties during the punishment. After he was down Lizzy slipped upstairs to her room.

As she sat on her bed she wondered what she could do to make it up to her sisters for the lack of love she had given them. As she thought, her eyes wandered and fell on the long discarded embroidery hamper and inspiration struck her. There was nothing as infamous about Elizabeth Bennet as the two facts all Meryton knew. She despised embroidery, and she loved taking long walks. Therefore a well done piece of embroidery would clearly show that she had put love into the project and the long hours of labouring over such tiny stitches. She went and grabbed the hamper and looked inside, tearing out old projects and patterns. Finally, she found an instruction book that she had oft used and then discarded in frustration. Then Lizzy pulled out a piece of paper and charcoal to draw a pattern. Hastily sketching several designs she combined a few into a piece that she decided would suit each sister equally. Then as she turned another idea struck her and she reached over and grabbed a romance book that she had read and decided was far too wild for her tastes. However, Lydia would enjoy such a novel, and so with her hamper in hand and the book in the other she made her way to Lydia's room. Upon receiving permission to enter, she traipsed through the door and set herself in the chair not long vacated by her father. Lydia looked up at her warily and in some confusion. Lizzy held out the book to Lydia.

"I though you might appreciate a novel to read." She said, and Lydia looked at the book and accepted it slowly, though she made no move to open it. Lizzy smiled at her, pulled out her sampler and then began sorting through her threads to choose the appropriate colours. Lydia stared at her in surprise, clearly aware of the rarity that saw Lizzy sitting down with embroidery. Lizzy met her gaze. "Would you mind reading it aloud? It would help pass the time, I believe."

"Of course." Lydia replied slowly and settling herself on her elbows she began to read in a soft, clear voice. In her heart a small thread of dislike for her sister slowly rotted and was replaced by a much happier one as Lizzy laughed at the appropriate points and exclaimed at others. So began a pattern that would continue for the entirety of Lydia's confinement to her room.

**Thank you for reading! Your reviews are most appreciated as are any suggestions you have to make. :)**


	4. To Make Amends

**Thank you for all the reviews! I'm so glad you are all enjoying this. Someone commented that the Bennet family was always dysfunctional, and yikes! Yes, they were, and not in any good way. Someone suggested that the Bennets should have a family punishment. Well, that would be ideal, but not in keeping for their Era. If maybe they were a religious family, yes that would work, but the only one who was religious was Mary. Also, Mr Collins don't deserve Mary! Don't worry about her she will get married and it ain't gonna be to Mr Collins. Someone also talked about the agreement between the three youngest. Just to clarify, Mary was never overly religious to start with, but she took up that guise deliberately, so they were taunting her about something she'd deliberately taken up. That was the plan. It wasn't so they would actually fight amongst themselves. Again someone said they were too self-aware. I firmly believe they were always aware. Lydia fully knew what she was doing when she eloped with Mr Wickham, she just didn't care. Another person said that Jane and Elizabeth would have had a hand in teaching the younger girls, but don't forget that Mrs Bennet was exactly the kind of person who wouldn't let anyone do anything in her place if she could do it. If she thought she could teach Lydia and Kitty, then Mr Bennet wouldn't have gotten near them. Someone also said that there would have been no ugliness in the original book. No one died in the original book! That's the whole point, they have just lost their mother. Before they had lost their mother they were all arguing and behaving badly towards each other, and then those ill feelings were amplified by guilt and grief! I have behaved that way, when I lost my fiance! I am one of 9 children! My only sister was the eldest, and I have four brothers in between them, and three younger ones with disabilities, and I have fought for my share of the attention in less than kind ways. Maybe you didn't get that with your family, which don't get me wrong, is good. But I got that with mine. I am speaking from experience. I also made Mr Bennet very frank because he is utterly shocked by Jane's behaviour and is trying to shock her into sense and reality. Otherwise there would be no mention of rape. Anyways, again thank you all for your reviews! I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

Mr Bennet had long prided himself on his powers of observation, his good sense, and his intelligence. That he had been so oblivious towards his children surprised him. In his mind he'd had Lydia, Kitty and Mary summed up. Mary was naturally reticent and religiously minded, Kitty was of a fashionable bent, and Lydia was determined to be a flirt. Thus, when he was firmly rebutted by Lydia, he could not reprimand her for her sharp tongue. He had oft been possessed of such a weapon in his youth, that while hidden, still lingered to this day. The events of the day washed over him. He'd never known that Jane possessed a temper, that sweet-tempered Jane could ever snap, that Kitty, little Kitty, had grown so tall and womanly. In his mind they were still little girls. He had never been so taken aback in his life as when he realised that Lydia had grown, she was no longer a toddling five year old, mischievous and bright like her elder sister, but silly in her manner. How long had it been since he'd properly looked at his girls? How long had it been since he'd shown them some affection? He of the occasion would pat Lizzy on the hand or shoulder tenderly, but he hadn't embraced one of his girls in years. The youngest had certainly never gone to him for comfort. But then again why should they when he had given them up as silly and stupid? True, of course he had given up their education to Fanny, when she had fought him for it. He had taught Mary as much as he could, but she was slower to wit than Lizzy was, and a far slower learner. She did not ask questions as Lizzy did, and he had given her up to learning by herself, never knowing how hurt she was. He'd never fought to teach the younger ones, giving them up to Fanny, despite the fact that she had gotten sillier and sillier as the years passed by and no son was produced. She had given herself over completely to her nerves and gossip and it was no surprise that without any guidance from their elder sisters they had become as silly as their mother. Fanny had not allowed any intervention from Lizzy or Jane, proclaiming it was a mother's place to teach a daughter, and not for a sister to teach a sister, and so they had stayed well away, watching as their sisters grew ever more wild and flighty. And so a pattern was created where daughter mimicked mother and sister never went to sister. The three youngest had long been ignored by himself and the two eldest.

He sat there musing over his failings as a father for sometime, until a sharp knock brought Mrs Hill in to his study, informing him that dinner would be ready soon, and no one could find Miss Elizabeth, downstairs or in the garden. Mr Bennet launched himself out of his seat. If there were not mourning rules to obey he would have questioned if they had seen Lizzy tramping all over the countryside, and they would often reply with a yes. But Lizzy never disregarded rules like mourning, and she would certainly never act like a hoyden in wake of today no matter how tempting a walk might be.

"Have you checked upstairs, Mrs Hill?" He asked, and the good woman nodded her head.

"Aye, I checked Miss Lizzy and Miss Jane's rooms. I could see Miss Jane, but I didn't find Miss Lizzy." Mr Bennet paced around the desk thoughtfully, then something struck him, and he marched out the room and up the stairs to Lydia's room. He didn't notice Mrs Hill trailing behind him, nor Mary and Kitty following them curiously. He reached the landing and strode straight over to Lydia's door, twisting the knob and was about to open it furiously when a small bout of feminine laughter reached his ears. Curiosity made him open it slowly so as to get a better view. Lydia was reading a book, perched up on her elbows and giggling at it, and Lizzy was attempting an embroidery sampler, and laughing every time Lydia made a suggestion.

"Caught with his breeches down against a wall, Lizzy! I'm sure of it!" Lydia proclaimed and Lizzy laughed again, leaning over from her position by the bed to get a better view.

"Lydia, it says that 'he faced the wall with a great expression of calamity, his breeches rent asunder by the marauding animals', it does not say he was against the wall." She replied, and Lydia laughed.

"Yes, but Lizzy, if it says rent asunder then surely they would have fallen by then?"

"Not necessarily, they could simply have been torn around the legs." Lizzy replied and Lydia laughed.

"Imagine if they were torn around the posterior. It says the ladies rounded the corner and saw him through the hedge. What a sight that would be!" She giggled.

"Lydia!" Lizzy cried before allowing her own giggles to join Lydia's. The thought struck her as truly comical, and she pulled a funny face before she looked down at her embroidery. "It also says that he saw the ladies coming and tried to hide himself against the hedge. He would have been facing them, therefore it would not have been his posterior that was exposed." She retorted, and there was silence for a few moments as they considered that point, then Lydia looked at Lizzy and waggled her eyebrows mischievously prompting another cry of her name before they giggled and turned back to the book. Lydia was just about to take up the task of reading again, before she was interrupted by her door swinging wide open and Mr Bennet stepping through the threshold. Both girls looked at him in alarm.

"Tis almost dinnertime Lizzy, and the household has been looking for you." Lizzy nodded already moving to put her things away in the basket. Mr Bennet eyed Lydia for several seconds before he spoke again. "A tray will be sent up here, Lydia. If you cannot eat it properly, I will send one of your sisters to help you." Lydia nodded also, and looked down at her book. Mr Bennet exited the room and returned downstairs followed by Mrs Hill. Mary and Kitty lingered and watched Lizzy pack up her embroidery. As she moved to put away her sampler, Lizzy looked down sadly at her stitches and tutted. Lydia raised an eyebrow.

"Did you ruin another stitch, Lizzy?" She asked and Lizzy showed her the sampler. The flowers she had attempted looked more like hats than flowers, and Lydia wrinkled her nose at them.

"I cannot seem to manage to get them to look decent. I always muddle up my half stitches and my cross stitches and I never know which ones to use." Lizzy replied sadly, plucking at the thread with her needle. Lydia looked up at Kitty, and then at Lizzy.

"Kitty is marvellous with stitchery. I'm sure she'd know better than I, wouldn't you Kitty?" She asked, and Kitty came forward and looked at Lizzy's embroidery and then at the pattern Lizzy had drawn. Her eyebrows rose as she viewed them, but she considered it deeply and then looked at Lizzy.

"I can help you by redrawing that pattern in the stitches you need, but I will have to do it later this evening after I have reworked my bonnet." Lizzy nodded at Kitty.

"I thank you, I shall make sure I have it in my basket in the parlour." She replied, and finished packing it away. Lydia watched as she rose to leave, her brow furrowed in thought. Of all the people to sit beside her bed and spend the afternoon with her, she had not expected Lizzy. After the debacle with Jane earlier she had expected to be reprimanded by Lizzy, and to be isolated. Yet, Lizzy had joined her, and had even laughed with her. It struck Lydia as odd. She questioned Lizzy's motives. Was it possible that she had been horrified by Jane? Was it possible that Lizzy was taking her side? She could not have said. She stared at the book for a long time, thinking, until Sarah came up with her dinner tray. She promptly shifted onto her backside to eat, wincing as she put weight on the bruises. Across the hall in her own room, Jane Bennet sat on her bed and pushed her food around. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her cheeks blotchy, and small fat tears dripped onto her plate. She was heartily ashamed of herself. Never in her life had she been punished, and never had she behaved so bad. It weighed very heavily on her, and she ate barely enough to keep a baby sparrow alive. Downstairs was a much different scene.

When they had arrived downstairs, Lizzy had found her place usurped by Mary, and Kitty was down by the foot of the table where she would normally sit. Lizzy had automatically gone to sit at her usual spot until her father cleared his throat and she came to a halt. For a moment she was confused then, after several seconds she turned around and took her place at the foot of the table near Kitty. After grace had been said, they served themselves, and slowly hesitantly Mr Bennet began a conversation on his latest book with her. He had received a book on the use of flowers in medicine and the history of their usage. He seemed surprised when Kitty and Mary joined in, with well-thought out questions of their own. Nevertheless, the conversation flowed around the table, and it was likely the most peaceable meal ever eaten there since Fanny Gardiner had become Mrs Bennet. The absence of the eldest and youngest sisters were keenly felt though, and after dinner they all trooped upstairs to peek into Lydia's room. That young woman found great happiness in their arrival, and although Mary gave her a stern lecture on her behaviour that day, nothing could dampen her bright smile when she realised the girls were there to see her. Lizzy stayed long enough to smile at her sisters, affectionately touch Lydia's hand, and then she excused herself once Mary began lecturing. Hesitantly, she entered Jane's room. That young woman was not quite so happy to see her. They were both silent upon Lizzy's entering, and it remained so for several seconds, until Lizzy swiftly crossed the room to sit upon the bed.

"You beat her!" She exclaimed as loudly as she dared. Jane nodded and refused to meet her eyes.

"I did." Lizzy stared at her and then leaned forward.

"Why?" Jane's head shot up.

"Why? She called me a harlot, she said I was responsible for Mama's death! She called me selfish and other unmentionable things! She did not hold back on insulting every inch of me I assure you!"

"So you beat her?"

"So I beat her." Jane's reply was subdued this time. "I slapped her, I kicked her. Make no mistake, Lizzy it was not without provocation. She hit first. I should never have considered behaving so otherwise."

"Regardless Jane, one or two hits with a poker to her posterior would have been well and truly sufficient, but Papa, Mary and Kitty say that they saw you force her up the stairs by beating her and you held her by her hair!"

"Aye, I did. It was like I was possessed. I have never felt so malicious in all my life. She has taunted me for the past few days, she has acted most strangely and hatefully. I knew not how to deal with her."

"She is grieving Jane. We all are. You know how Lydia only ever cared for Mama's love and approval, you are surely aware of how hard it would have hit her. Mama's loss will be felt by us all." Jane nodded.

"Yes, but Lizzy-"

"Are you truly making excuses for your behaviour?" Lizzy cried, and Jane stared at her.

"Why are you taking her side? She attacked me first, she provoked me, she has done so for the past few days!" Lizzy shot to her feet and looked down at Jane furiously.

"She is a child, who has lost her mother! She is a child resorting to childish ways to rid herself of her grief! Do you not remember the Baker boys? Their mother died in a fire, and for the next two years they were the most surly, angry boys in Meryton. As for taking her side, if you had heard the way Kitty spoke to me you could understand! Lydia has hated you for years! Regardless of whether or not she behaved badly, regardless of whether she taunted you, you beat her so badly she will likely remain in her bed until the funeral! She is punished same as you, but for a lesser amount of time because unlike you, she in anger did not beat a child so badly that there are already bruises on her back!" And so saying Lizzy made to storm out of the room, stopped only by Jane's choking plea.

"Lizzy please. Lizzy, don't abandon me now. I admit I was wrong to do that, and I should never have beaten her, but I lost my temper." Jane was crying again, and Lizzy turned. Slowly she returned to Jane's bedside and sat back down.

"I never thought you capable of acting cruelly, Jane. But I could hear Lydia screaming from the other side of the garden. I can hear it echoing in my head. I have never seen Papa so pale, nor Mary and Kitty so frightened as when I entered the house. Kitty cried in Papa's arms when she had finished tending Lydia's wounds, she sobbed like her very heart was breaking. Do you know what she said to me after Papa had gone upstairs? She told me that they had always been jealous of us. They had always felt abandoned by us. They were always trying to get our attention, to be worthy of us. They even have a pact. Jane, they made a pact to tease Mary about her habits, habits that she took up so they could tease her. They thought that if they teased Mary, then we would take Mary's side, and take her under our wing. Then once we had done that, Mary could slowly bring them in, and they would pretend that we had reformed them. They have been trying that for years. They are nothing like what we have thought of them, what I have thought of them. I have ignored Mary for years, I have deemed her bookish and thoughtless and spiritless. I have ignored Kitty and Lydia, I have mocked them to father, I have thought them stupid and irrational. I have spent years refusing to even talk to them about anything, and I do not intend to wake up thirty years from now and regret never letting my younger sisters know that I love them." Throughout her whole speech, Jane had stared at Lizzy in dismay. When Lizzy rose to leave, Jane shook her head.

"That is all very well for you, Lizzy, but when I cannot talk to them for the next month, how am I meant to make amends to them?"

"Have you considered perhaps sitting and reading aloud? We are prevented from talking to you. You are not prevented from talking to us. I have already spent some time with Lydia, embroidering with her. Not everything needs to be said with words." Lizzy sent Jane a small smile and then slipped out the room. She went to go down to the parlour and then stopped outside Lydia's room and poked her head in. Kitty was stroking Lydia's hair softly, while the younger girl dosed. The sweet scene made Elizabeth smile, and she withdrew quietly and took her workbasket downstairs to the parlour. Mary was already there, sitting by the fire in the chair Jane had abandoned several hours ago. She held a book in her hands, though her eyes were not trained on it. Lizzy quietly slipped to her side and looked down at Mary. To her surprise, underneath the cover of Mary's beloved Fordyce was a novel! And quite a romantic one as far as Lizzy recalled. She cleared her throat softly, and Mary jumped and turned around.

"That chapter is a rather good one, isn't it?" Elizabeth said, and Mary looked up at her in confusion.

"You never read Fordyce, Lizzy." She replied warily.

"No, but I couldn't help but see some of the words over your shoulder just now. Who knew Fordyce was such a romantic?" Lizzy replied with a teasing smile that Mary hesitantly returned. Once she had settled herself on the lounge, Elizabeth began pulling apart the threads that had gone wrong. Embroidery had always frustrated her deeply, and she felt that the stitches were mocking her with every wrong move she made. Sensing her frustration, Mary eyed her saucily.

"If you can consider Fordyce romantic, than I must consider you to be a seamstress, Lizzy. I have never seen you pay such particular attention to your embroidery; it has always ended up crumpled in a heap in the darkest corner of whichever room you were doing it in." Lizzy looked up at the teasing tone, for Mary had lectured her, quoted to her, but she had never teased her. She raised an eyebrow at her younger sister.

"Indeed Mary, I have found my true calling, and it is to put needles through cloth in the most worthless of ladylike pursuits ever invented! I know not why someone thought ladies should have the patience to stab a cloth several hundred times, but I find I lack such patience!" She retorted, and hissed in frustration when she pricked her finger with the needle. Mary smiled at her, and eyed her work.

"As did Kitty for many years, but she persevered until she received the results she wanted. How else do you think she became so good at doing up her dresses and bonnets?" Lizzy looked at her contemplatively.

"I thought it came naturally to her." She replied, and Mary snorted.

"I know not how Kitty came to learn them, but by dint of instructing her I was privy to her many unladylike bursts of rage when she pricked her finger or tore her cloth or made too many wrong stitches. I have since became fluent in many curses that would make more genteel-bred ladies than I whimper into their handkerchiefs." Lizzy raised an eyebrow.

"Indeed?" Mary nodded at her and smiled secretively. After several moments, Elizabeth's eyes dropped to her work, and she smiled ruefully. "Very well. If Kitty can manage to be patient for years, I shall endeavour to be patient for several minutes until she can assist me." Mary returned to her book with a small smile playing around her lips. It suddenly occurred to Lizzy that that moment was the first time in as many as ten years since she had spoken to Mary without behaving in a condescending manner. Guilt writhed within her and she focused hard on her stitches to prevent the sudden tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes from falling. She removed her stitches carefully and barely noticed when Kitty entered the room. That young lady was intently reworking her favourite bonnet in black, brown and dark grey. Silence overtook the room, only broken by the crackling of the fire and the occasional sound of a turning page. Lizzy finished pulling apart her flowers and replaced the needle before she turned to her workbasket and dug around inside it, attempting to find a much simpler sampler. Unbeknown to her, she was covertly watched by Mary and Kitty. The latter was attempting to figure out Elizabeth's intentions in creating the sampler that she had seen on the pattern; the former was admiring the persistence that had been inspired in her elder sister. The two young girls watched Elizabeth sit at her needlework and follow the much simpler pattern until Kitty had finished her bonnet. Then until they retired, Kitty reworked the pattern on parchment to show which stitches Lizzy would need and where. Then she removed sample threads and tied them around holes she had poked in the parchment. So great was her desire to prove herself, she also managed to complete a few of the required stitches in each colour so that Elizabeth could see what colours to use and where. To say that Elizabeth was pleased would greatly understate it, and when she saw what Kitty had done with her pattern, she thanked her wholeheartedly and hugged her before they retired.

The very next morning Elizabeth rose early as was her wont, and went from her room. Realising that it would be very disrespectful to go tramping about the countryside as she usually did, she simply dressed herself and sat down to do her needlework. It wasn't long before she tired of staring at the stitches in silence, and so she rose and took the basket to go downstairs. Something however stopped her outside Lydia's door. She knocked lightly, uncertain if Lydia was even awake yet, but a voice bade her entrance. She stepped inside the little room, to see Lydia lying on her side with tears in her eyes, and Jane sitting opposite to her. She stopped and looked at the pair of them, but Lydia refused to meet her gaze and Jane barely looked up herself.

"I should have known it would be you, Lizzy. You are almost always the first of us up." Jane said in greeting, and Lizzy looked at her in some surprise.

"Generally, yes. Although I have beaten Father downstairs only a few times in my life. But I am surprised, I thought with yesterdays events neither one of you should be comfortable in close quarters with the other." She replied curiously. Jane shifted uncomfortably and looked down.

"I had apologies to make that could not be delayed. I have received instruction, and I must now do some learning so that I may make reparation." Unbidden tears slid down her cheeks and she looked out of the window as if she were trying very hard not to cry. Lizzy switched her gaze to Lydia, who was also crying. She knew not how long the discussion had been, but it was clear that it had pained both parties to speak to each other; and while her naturally curious mind would have loved to mull over the details that had been shared, she knew that they needed some time to clear the air. She slowly turned back to the door.

"If you so wish, I shall repair downstairs and ask Lucy for a tea tray for you." As if struck by lightning, Jane rose swiftly and moved towards the door. Elizabeth did not miss the sudden flinch that Lydia made at the sudden movement, but she made no comment. Jane stopped beside her and looked at her, almost in relief.

"No, I thank you, I shall do the task myself. I have a sudden need for fresh air, so I may gather some flowers from the garden." Jane said hastily, and Elizabeth nodded at her and watched Jane leave before turning to Lydia, slowing her normally quick movements. She flashed her little sister a smile, and moved gracefully to the now vacant chair and seated herself. Lydia eyed her for several moments before she opened her mouth.

"I have no wish to speak of it." Lydia said, and Elizabeth looked at her calmly.

"Indeed I am not surprised. I have no wish to pry into your private affairs. Certainly if even being in company distresses you presently, I shall take my leave of you for the parlour." She replied and Lydia shook her head vigorously.

"Oh no! Please do not. It is only that it is quite pleasant to have some company early in the morning. Kitty is removed from my room and I usually am able to talk to her whilst she sketches her designs."

"Very well, I shall stay. I must add my own apologies however Lydia. I should not have slapped you. It was despicable of me and I abhor that I behaved that way." Lydia shook her head softly.

"No, do not apologise. I was not at my best behaviour that evening, and I fear I may have warranted that slap." There was an uneasy silence for several moments, and then Lydia burst forth beginning to sob again. "I miss Mama! I miss her so cruelly! I loved her so much, Lizzy and now she is gone!" She threw herself onto her pillow and began to heave. For several seconds, Elizabeth watched in alarm, and then moved forward to gently place a hand on Lydia's shoulder.

"We all do Lydia. We all miss her. Now we have to find a move to cope with the grief and move on." She said as softly as she could, but Lydia shook her head.

"But how?! How!?" Lydia cried out loudly, and Lizzy opened her mouth to reply before promptly closing it. She had no answer. How could she? She had certainly never experienced such grief before. She sank to her knees beside the bed and held fast to Lydia's hand before she, too, wept. She had cried for her mother when she'd passed, but as the days had gone by she had shed but a few tears. Now she joined Lydia in weeping and together they cried their hearts out into the sheets of the bed. It wasn't until Kitty drew them close that they realised they were not alone. Mary stood just behind Lizzy with a strange expression on her face. Old memories bubbled forth in Elizabeth's head and she suddenly launched herself at Mary, at the younger sister she had been so excited for as a little girl. A memory of her playing with Jane and Mary rose in her mind and the nursery rhyme they had twisted to crown Mary with flowers.

"Oh Mary little lamb!" She cried and threw herself at Mary's feet. "I am so sorry. I never should have abandoned you! You were my little lamb, and I left you behind nothing! I am so sorry." She babbled and cried, hugging herself to Mary's knees. A thousand regrets welled up in her head, and she unconsciously cried them all out, apologising to each girl for the way she had abandoned them, for every harsh word she'd ever said, for the way she'd refused to listen to them. She cried until she had cried every last tear, ashamed that it had taken her mother's death to realise how much she loved her younger sisters and how much she'd betrayed them. She didn't see Mary silently crying as she drew the chair up behind her and sat down. She didn't see Kitty's face soften even as she held a still weeping Lydia. She only knew that when Mary pulled her closer and let her head on her lap, that she was forgiven. None of them noticed Jane standing just outside the door watching them all. Tears slowly dripped down her face and though she was moved by the sight she did not venture forth to join them. A part of her knew that she would be unwelcome by what she had done. She went silently to her own room after several minutes and cried there. She made a silent vow to be a better sister and a better person and then she drew out a sheet of parchment and wrote down ways to change. Neither she nor her sisters saw Mr Bennet go up to Mrs Bennet's room and sit by her bed.

"Well Fanny. It seems our little family is banding together. I know not how it happened, but it seems that our daughters may very well pull together and become true sisters. I fear I failed you, Fanny. I fear I may have failed them all. I don't know what to do next. I do not know. I should have done better, Fanny. I should have done better. I cannot give up now. I cannot fail them again. They need me now, Fanny, and I have already failed them once. I don't want to fail them again. You were not supposed to go before me, Fanny. But you did." He said, and then promptly buried his head in his hands and silently wept.

Meanwhile in Meryton towards the back of the village in a small house, a widow sat down to her tea and plotted. Though she talked out loud she did not have much fear, despite her only maid being outside the door.

"Should I wait the full period? No, no, I must strike whilst he is still vulnerable. Six months should suffice. Then I can take those brats in hand. I will marry that Jane girl off to the butcher, and that Elizabeth will need to taken firmly in hand. As for the two youngest, they will fear me before the year is out. Yes, six months should do nicely." She plotted to herself, and the young woman outside the door curled up her nose and sneaked off. Her mistress wouldn't have anything to do with the Bennet girls if she could help it. She'd been in service to Mrs Julia Turner for seven years as a cook and maid, and she had yet to find a single good thing about the woman. She dodged the three children sitting in the small nursery with practised ease and pulling on her bonnet, set off to the town square to gossip. Julia Turner would never become Mrs Julia Bennet as long as Vivian Jones had anything to say about it.

**And there we go! What will Mrs Turner do? We will find out later. I hope you enjoyed this, and please let me know what you think. Reviews are always welcome, and I will always respect your opinions. Thank you very much and peace out! Anne Douglas- xoxo**


	5. To Break Down

**Welcome to another chapter of WRTMB! Thank you all for sticking with the story, and to the new readers, I hope you enjoy it! Someone asked if the Vivian Jones mentioned in the previous chapter could be the same Vivian Collins that Mr Bennet mentioned to Jane. No, she isn't the same, she is intended to be Mr Jones' daughter (Mr Jones being the apothecary). Vivian Collins is definitely dead, and while it would be interesting to have Vivian Collins be alive in the disguise of Vivian Jones, I'm simply not able to integrate such a difficult backstory into an already difficult and unfleshed out story. However, I hope you enjoy all the same. **

The day that the Gardiners arrived was a bittersweet day for both Jane and Lydia. Bitter, because it meant their mother's funeral was a day away, and sweet because neither had seen their aunt, uncle and cousins for a full year. There was also the knowledge that Mr and Mrs Gardiner would know the grievous acts they had committed, and the punishment they would receive, and neither wanted the approbation of their dearest Aunt and Uncle to be endured by themselves. Thus they met the Gardiner family at the door with mixed feelings and very small smiles. Naturally Edward and Margaret Gardiner were concerned when Lizzy and Thomas stepped forward to greet them. It was out of character for Lizzy to supplant Jane, but there was obviously a reason for that, if she was being placed in charge as Mistress of Longbourn instead of Jane. When all the greetings had been given, Lizzy ushered them inside and went to lead them into the drawing room, but she was halted by her father.

"Ah Lizzy, I should like to have a word with your aunt and uncle if you please. I think a half hour should suffice however." Elizabeth inclined her head to her father regally.

"Very well father. Hill, could we have tea for the drawing room in a half hour? I think the little ones might benefit from a few lemon cakes also." That good matron nodded, and Elizabeth turned to her young cousins and gestured to the parlour. As they were led into the room, Mr and Mrs Gardiner noted that Jane and Lydia took the last place behind all their sisters, and their cousins. And though it was hardly noticeable, they saw that Jane was half a step behind Lydia. They watched them all till they were out of sight, and then turned and followed Mr Bennet to the study.

"Have a seat, have a seat." He offered them, and turned to Edward. "Brother, would you care for a drop of Madeira?" When Edward shook his head in the negative, Mr Bennet took his seat behind the desk and eyed them uncomfortably before he spoke. "I am sure you noticed that Elizabeth had taken the place of Jane as Mistress of Longbourn, and I am equally sure that you noticed both Jane and Lydia seemed uncomfortable." He paused and eyed them again, before he launched into his story, informing them as succinctly and briefly as possible what had occurred between Jane and Lydia. Both their jaws dropped, and when he had finished telling them the girls' punishments, they leaned forward at the same time.

"Jane!? Our Jane! Gentle Jane!? She beat Lydia with a poker!?" Margaret cried, and Thomas nodded unhappily.

"Aye, I saw it for myself. The poor child screamed so loud that Lizzy heard her from the garden. I could not have condoned any one of my children receiving such a punishment no matter how ill they acted."

"I cannot believe that Lydia said such awful things about her own sister! Especially Jane! From whence did that diatribe come from?!" Edward said, and Thomas looked down at his hands.

"Grief does strange things to people. Even those who are of the most stable countenance. I have since learnt however, that the younger girls were always jealous of Jane and Lizzy. For Lydia it developed into hatred. I never noticed it." He replied in a quiet voice, and Edward and Margaret exchanged a glance. They neither had seen what Thomas had realised. It was even more upsetting to realise it took the death of Fanny for them to see what had long been concealed. It was unfortunate that none of them had never taken the time to really notice the younger girls. But as they had gotten to know them they realised the girls were different from their elder sisters and so had never really taken the time to see past the differences. Jane had been the perfect mix of Fanny and Thomas's guidance. Under their tutelage, she had blossomed into a pretty, intelligent, young lady and Fanny had crowed at her success. She had wrestled long with Elizabeth and had not prevailed. There was an underlying stubbornness to the girl that could never be shaken, and so her education had been given up to Thomas. He had given her knowledge a plenty and quenched her thirst for learning. Fanny had despaired of taming her wild ways, but as Lizzy had grown from an unruly girl into an adolescent young woman, she had underwent a mental change that had taken her from a wild creature to a more demure woman, well worthy of the title of lady. Mary had been despaired of from birth for her plainness, and as her mind was thirsty for knowledge she too had been given up to Thomas. But Mary had lacked Elizabeth's quick wit and easy learning, and so despite her slow gain of education, she was given up by both parents and mostly left to fend for herself. Fanny seeing Lizzy's behaviour as a result of her father's teaching, decided that since Kitty and Lydia were so lovely, their education should be hers and hers alone. Thus any hope of instilling sense and decorum in the two youngest had been lost, or so they had thought. Now of course the sudden knowledge arising from this incident meant that there was a chance to reunite with them and attempt to repair the broken connection, but neither of the Gardiners believed that Thomas would do it for very long.

Finally, after a long silence they all roused themselves and made for the parlour, where they were greeted by a very pleasing sight. Edward and Eleanor were playing quite contentedly with Elizabeth and Mary at soldiers. Edward, having the privilege of being the younger child had been paired with Elizabeth, who could better teach him the game. Despite the handicap of age and inexperience, he played remarkably well against his sister and Mary, who put up quite a decent fight. Peggy, who would soon exchange that name for the more grown-up Margaret, was sitting with Lydia and Kitty, excitedly giggling over scraps of fabric and between the three they were creating a most outrageous bonnet. And young Freddy was seated on Jane's lap talking to her animatedly about frogs and insects with a sweet little lisp, common among the very young who haven't yet learned to talk properly.. A more pleasant scene hadn't been displayed at Longbourn for quite awhile and they lingered by the door until Mrs Hill happened upon them bearing the tea-tray and Sarah following with the delicacies. At the entry of the tea, all games were forgotten and the children leapt up as one with bright eyes, for travelling is a tiresome excursion to undertake at the ages of two to eight. There was a brief moment of confusion when both Elizabeth and Jane rose to preside over the tea-tray and after an awkward pause, Jane hung back to let her sister pour the cups, where she simply passed them out. Mr Bennet had a brief moment of discomfort when he witnessed Lydia smirking at the interaction between Jane and Elizabeth. It passed however when Mr Gardiner sat down next to Mary and made himself comfortable.

"Well Mary, and how are you? Still playing the pianoforte?" He asked genially and Mary after a moment's hesitation answered.

"Yes, I'm still playing, I practice almost daily."

"Indeed, excellent. Have you any need for new sheet music?" He asked and Mary's whole face lit up.

"Oh yes! For there have been twelve concertos that I have been dying to play and hear, but I have not been able to get the sheet music here in Meryton." She exclaimed and Mr Gardiner leaned forward and patted her hand.

"Write me a list of the concerto's, and I shall send you the sheets from London." He said and Mary gaped for a brief moment, before floundering uncertainly.

"Oh, well, but Uncle, I couldn't possibly-" She was promptly interrupted.

"No need, Mary, no need. But if it makes you uncomfortable to not do anything in return, I might ask for a nice pair of knitted socks for each of your little cousins. You do such excellent needlework with socks and they do love them so." He smiled at her kindly, and Mary feeling as if she had struck a wonderful bargain could only nod in return. After a moment, he turned the conversation to books and they struck up a lively debate on the merits of Aristotle over Plato, which Mr Bennet joined in. It was rather unfortunate for Elizabeth, for they were talking of a subject she dearly loved to debate, but good manners and her hostess duties required her to talk to her Aunt Gardiner and organise their rooms, the meals and see that everything was prepared for the wake tomorrow. A small seed of resentment against Jane wormed its way into her heart, and for a moment she entertained it, before shaking it off. Resentment wouldn't aid her in recovering from her grief, nor would it make her sisterly relationship any easier. While the Elizabeth of old might have been able to nurse resentment as she pleased, this new Elizabeth had duties to her family that needed fulfilling. She talked sweetly with Jane and Aunt Gardiner, but when Jane's attention was dragged away by Freddy, Margaret Gardiner leaned forward to talk to her headstrong niece.

"How do you fare, Lizzy, keeping control of the household?" She asked. "I know that Fanny taught you all briefly how to manage the household and to care for your tenants, but learning is quite a different thing to putting it in practice. Is there anything you are uncertain about?" Elizabeth stared at her for a single moment and then looked away seeming to struggle with her thoughts.

"In truth Aunt, most days pass so quickly I could not tell you how I have managed the household. But I have asked Mrs Hill to assist me in this matter and so far she has had no recommendations for me to change what I have already done. I don't really know what else to do. I must see to the meals and the wake and the tenants, and there is so much to do that it confuses me." She admitted slowly, her brain racking for any mistakes she might have made. All her uncertainty about her new position was brought to the fore and she shrank back in herself, which did not go unnoticed by her Aunt.

"Well Lizzy, if the excellent Mrs Hill has no problem with your management, you must be doing a wonderful job. Indeed, you have captured all the elegance and grace of being the mistress of a great house such as Longbourn. I was most impressed when you greeted me at the door. I do ask my dear Lizzy that if you have any questions that you come to me as soon as you may. I am more than willing to help." She said sweetly, and Elizabeth looked up at her Aunt happily and nodded.

"I thank you, Aunt. But I believe the only help I require from you now is to do with needlework." Margaret Gardiner stared at her in surprise.

"Needlework, Lizzy? I thought you had given up on that endeavour quite some time ago." She replied, and Elizabeth shook her head ruefully.

"I thought so too, but recent events have turned my hand back to needlework and I find I must try again." Aunt Gardiner laughed lightly.

"Are you turning yourself into a lady of accomplishments, Lizzy?" She asked and again Elizabeth shook her head.

"No indeed, Aunt, I have no desire to be able to paint, sing, draw and be as accomplished as other ladies wish to. I shall do very well being merely passably decent at needlework." Elizabeth replied, and Aunt Gardiner smiled.

"I do declare, Lizzy that you should take up piano again. It will do your fingers good after you have plied them with needlework. At least that is what I have found." Mrs Gardiner suggested, and for several seconds Lizzy contemplated it.

"I suppose it wouldn't harm me to try. Although I find that my fingers oft betray me."

"Indeed for quite some time they will, but if you practice daily you may find that they will betray you less and less." Mrs Gardiner replied, and Lizzy smiled at her merrily. They discussed the benefits of pianoforte over needlework, before Lizzy noticed that Lydia had risen and moved towards her, wincing. She finished her sentence and turned an inquisitive eye towards Lydia.

"If you do not mind Lizzy, I am a trifle fatigued and I should like to retire for an hour or so." She asked politely, and Margaret Gardiner hid her surprise very well. She had never known boisterous Lydia to behave so ladylike, and the change was welcome, if not slightly alarming. Lizzy nodded and then rose.

"Of course Lydia, I shall escort you if you do not mind. I have something I must discuss with you. Pray, excuse me Aunt." She said, and Aunt Gardiner nodded, sipping her tea. Placing a sisterly arm around Lydia's waist so that she could support her if necessary, Elizabeth drew Lydia from the room with a smile for any curious glances. They meandered slowly from the parlour to the stairs and Lizzy assisted the younger girl upwards. They were half-way up before Lydia spoke.

"What did you wish to discuss with me, Lizzy?" Lydia asked anxiously, hoping that she had displayed no bad behaviour worthy of punishment. Her fears were easily allayed.

"I wish to know if you will manage bearing the casket tomorrow, Lydia. You are much recovered, but I fear it may be a strain on you. I shouldn't wish to redo the damage." Elizabeth said and Lydia slowed her steps thoughtfully.

"In truth I think I shall manage bearing the pall, but it is all the sitting I must do during the wake. I find being active is less harmful than sitting." Elizabeth nodded.

"I don't believe anyone shall think less of you, if you stand throughout the wake. I was not intending to be seated." She replied, and Lydia shrugged.

"I suppose I shall be well then." Silence fell as they ascended the stairs. Once they had gained the landing, Lydia turned to her door and parted from Lizzy with a small smile. Elizabeth waited until the door was firmly shut before she descended the stairs rapidly. Anyone observing her might have noticed the difference that she hadn't yet noticed. The usual thumping that preceded Lizzy's arrival was tempered into a swiftly elegant rustling of skirts as she swept down the stairs, rather than a gallop. Rather than turning to the parlour however, she went quickly through the nondescript door near the entryway. She continued down a narrow corridor until she came upon the kitchens. Mrs Hill was there next to the cook, and several girls were helping her. Silence almost immediately fell upon the house when they noticed Elizabeth's arrival. Mrs Hill turned immediately to her and came forward with an anxious smile.

"Good afternoon Miss Elizabeth, is there anything you need?" She asked, and Elizabeth smiled back kindly.

"I was just coming to see if all the preparations were ready for the wake tomorrow."

"Oh aye, ma'am. Cook here has prepared a very fine selection for the tea service, and a nice meal for the dinner." Mrs Hill replied and Elizabeth nodded her thanks to the Cook (a woman known to the village as Mrs Mary Tanner), and then turned back to Mrs Hill.

"Mrs Hill, if you would be so good as to ensure the nursery is filled with plenty of toys for my young cousins tomorrow, I should be delighted. I am sure they will not want to participate in the wake downstairs, and I think it wiser that they be distracted from the goings on. If you could ensure they receive a small tray as well, and I think perhaps set Lucy to watch over them, I should be most grateful." She said and Mrs Hill nodded.

"Very good, ma'am. I shall see to it straight away. Will you be wanting tea to be served directly when you return from the funeral, or a short time afterwards?" The good matron asked and Elizabeth hesitated.

"Directly, I believe. And a fresh pot of tea not long after the men arrive as well." She replied, and Mrs Hill bobbed a curtsy to her.

"Very good, ma'am. Anything else you require?"

"No, thank you Hill, I believe that is all." Elizabeth turned and looked at Lucy before nodding around the room and leaving. Lucy was an excellent choice for child-minding. The eldest of twelve children, she had grown up helping her mother care for her siblings since she was three. She was a fun companion for children, and had a keen eye for rising disputes. She was often put in charge of the Gardiner children when they stayed, and even in charge of some of the local children, when their mothers would visit. Elizabeth was confident that Lucy would manage them until after the wake was over. She walked directly back to the parlour, and helped herself to some of the strawberry shortcakes still left on the now devastated pastry tray. As she looked around the room, Kitty caught her eye and patted the seat beside her. On her lap was a shy, but smiling Eleanor and Elizabeth crossed the room and sat beside her, smiling down at her young cousin. They passed the afternoon pleasantly, and finally sat down for dinner. For a moment, Elizabeth was ready to cede the role of mistress to her Aunt, but Mrs Gardiner sat on Mr Bennet's right hand, opposite her husband, and everyone took their places from there. Peggy, by dint of being eight years old in two months, was allowed to sit at the table with the grownups 'just this once'. Dinner passed quietly with little mishap, and almost immediately afterwards her Aunt and Uncle retired. The day of travelling had left them weary and they would need to be fresh for the funeral tomorrow. Mary had the last night of vigil, and had subsequently slept in very late that day. She played the piano quietly, until the ninth hour chimed, and then rose.

"I believe I shall start my vigil now." She said quietly, and they all nodded, letting her leave without much fuss. Lydia, sore from sitting for so long, went up to bed not much later. One by one they trickled from the room, until Jane was the only one left. The minutes seemed very long to her as she stared at the dying fire, her posture slumped, and she lost track of how long she sat there. She only realised she had slept when the clock struck one, and the fire had long died. Stretching out the cricks in her neck, she rose and sleepily made her way upstairs. She passed by her mother's room and stared in through the door. Mary was still holding vigil, but her eyes were drooping. The book in her hands was falling steadily towards her lap, and her head tilted back. Jane took pity on her and slowly crossed the room and placed her hand on Mary's head. Mary looked up, startled by the sudden appearance of her sister. Jane nodded to another chair by the window, and looked down at her sister.

"Would you mind if I join you?" She asked quietly, aware that her presence may be seen as an intrusion. Mary however sat up sleepily and nodded quickly. Jane took her seat before Mary could change her mind, and sat watching her mother's corpse for several long moments, casting about in her mind for something to say. It was Mary however, who broke the silence.

"It seems strange that she is so quiet. In life, I can never remember her being so still except in sleep. It feels as though I am waiting for her to awaken from a long sleep or an illness, but I know that she never will." Jane looked up at her, slightly startled.

"Even in sleep she was restless. I recall Papa saying once that if restlessness was a battle tactic, she'd have won the war against Napoleon." Mary chuckled lightly.

"I'm sure Mama was delighted to hear that." She said, and Jane received a strong impression of Elizabeth coming from Mary. She had never thought that any of her other sisters had the same wit and verbosity as Elizabeth, and the realisation made her as unhappy as it made her glad.

"I'm sorry Mary! I haven't been a very good sister to you, and I have failed in that regard. I wish I could express all the regret I feel, but-" She was halted by Mary.

"I suppose it's just as well that I don't care for apologies. I used to dream of being included in your games with Elizabeth, and as I've grown older and been forgotten I found that I no longer cared. If you want to make apologies to me, then change your ways. Include me; and mean it. I don't want pity, or sympathy, or regret. I want change. Mama never loved me as well as you, and I don't expect that Papa ever will. If you want to be a sister to me, do it out of love, not because you feel you aren't being a good sister and you want that title." And Mary rose and left the room, uncaring for her vigil. Jane heard her go, and felt her eyes fill with tears. She pulled the chair closer to the bed and laid her head in arms and wept bitterly.

Mary went back to her room crying softly. Frustration welled up inside her, and she crossed the room to pound her fists against her little writing desk. In an attempt to restrain her emotions, she paced back and forth across the room, tears spilling over. Occasionally she punched the air, and once she punched the wall; very quickly regretting the action as a most unladylike curse spilled forth from her lips. She stilled and listened, but no one seemed to stir, so she quickly moved back to her desk and pounding her fists against the desk, over and over as hard as she dared, she let one particularly profane four-letter word spill from her lips with every blow she landed. Each blow she landed only seemed to enrage her more and more and finally she threw a punch at the wall again, with a loud, keening, cry. The impact split the skin on her knuckles, and the already torn and roughened fist began to bleed. Mary, feeling all the frustration, bitterness and anger of years of neglect and sadness, sank to her knees and began pounding her fists against her thighs, crying openly and earnestly. Her sobs choked her so much that she began to hiccup amongst her tears and she made no effort to restrain herself until she heard a frenzied knock at her door.

"Mary?!" The urgent tone belonged to Elizabeth, and Mary immediately stuffed a knuckle to her mouth to try and repress the uncontrollable sobbing, but she still gasped loudly and hiccuped every few seconds, and that was more than enough to bring Elizabeth into the room. She stopped short at the sight of Mary, bloody fist clutching at her dress so tightly the material was close to tearing, red-faced and snotty with tears still falling fast down her cheeks, and a fist stuffed to mouth to try and prevent the sobs and hiccups from overflowing, her eyes filled with hopeless anger and overwhelming sadness. Elizabeth nearly threw the candelabra she was carrying onto the nearest dresser, and quickly righted it when it wobbled and threatened to fall to the carpet. Once the light was secure, she fairly flew to Mary's side and knelt beside her sister. Feelings of sisterly concern that had once been suppressed welled up and she was bubbling with instincts that demanded she protect her little sister.

"Oh Mary, Mary tell me sweet sister what is wrong?!" She asked hastily, and began patting her sister down, checking her for injuries, tutting at the bloody hand, and holding the younger girl close to her bosom. Mary, for her part, was unable to answer she was crying so. Elizabeth, after a moment, rose, drawing Mary with her. She quickly led Mary into her own room and set her down on the bed, flying to the washstand with a handkerchief to wet it. As tenderly as a mother might, she gently bound Mary's hand, and then drew another handkerchief. This, once dampened, was used to wash Mary's face, all the while Elizabeth muttered almost incomprehensible words in a soothing tone. Gradually under the tender ministrations of her sister and the soothing feel of the cool handkerchief, Mary began to calm down. Once or twice, Elizabeth opened her mouth as if to ask a question, and then thinking better of it, closed her mouth and continued to sooth her sister. At long last, Mary was crying quietly and Elizabeth rocked her back and forth in her arms. Somewhere along the way though neither could remember, Elizabeth had ended sitting up at the head of the bed, with a pillow at her back and Mary curled up against her bosom. Elizabeth didn't know what Mary was crying about, but nonetheless she stared into the now dark room, and thought hard. Her brain swirled in motion, dredging up endless regrets and thoughts. Automatically she rocked back and forth, wishing she could change her past actions and letting warm, salty tears soak her own cheeks. With reddened eyes she stared straight ahead, wishing to change and wanting something different. It was only when the faint grey of dawn crept slowly into the room that she noticed that Mary's sobs had long ceased, and the seventeen year old was fast asleep in her arms. Slowly, she pulled the coverlet up and leaned back, letting sleep claim her steadily. They were found like that a few hours later, when Aunt Gardiner peeped in. She had just come from Mrs Bennet's room where Jane had cried to her and confessed all. Unable to find Mary in her own room, she had subsequently searched the house until she found the sweet sight of the little lamb safely curled up in her sister's arms, both fast asleep and weary. Jane, right behind her, felt her heart break into pieces and she turned away to go wake the other girls and go downstairs. Margaret Gardiner watched them for several minutes and finally closed the door softly behind her, leaving them to sleep a little longer. The funeral wouldn't be for another four hours yet.

**Thank you all for staying with me for another chapter! I hope you all enjoy this one, next chapter is Mrs Bennet's funeral and the wake. Until the next chapter! -Anne Douglas**


	6. Update

Hi all, sorry this isn't a new chapter just an update. I wanted to let you all know that I am not abandoning this story, and I do intend to post a new chapter as soon possible. I know that some of you are curious as to why, and these are the reasons.

A) I have spent almost two months out of this years in hospital with severe pain, and almost four months recovering from said pain. I am (or so it seems), finally recovered.

B) My laptop stopped working and I was unable to get a replacement for a full month, so I lost the chapter I was working on, and I have to restart it completely. I have a new laptop now and I should get it all up and running.

C) My parents are currently going through a very bitter divorce and I have spent the last month making sure my father doesn't kill himself.

D) I recently had to renovate my home, and I have been kept very busy with it.

E) I've only just recently recovered from my second miscarriage on the very anniversary of my first miscarriage. Under all this emotional trauma and stress, I'm sure some of you who are less patient than others might forgive me if I do not update immediately.

Thank you for reading the story. I hope to have the next chapter up by the end of the month. If for some reason I cannot upload it, I will post another update. Thank you all for being so patient and bearing with me. -Anne Douglas.


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